What a week it had been!
I had a taste of my first jishin experience in Tokyo. I’ve heard other peoples’ experiences and even read the manual for earthquake disaster prevention prepared by the Meguro ward office, but there’s nothing like experiencing it myself. The first jishin happened on last Sunday evening. I was cooking in the kitchen when all of a sudden the cupboard behind me shook. Kinda spooky as I was the only person in the kitchen, but that jishin, while it was quite atremor, lasted only a few seconds. The second one happened last Wednesday night. I was in my room, surfing the Net when the whole room started shaking. Honestly speaking, I wasn’t scared, but yes, it was very dizzying. The second one lasted a while longer, probably because the flexibility of the building means that it swayed for sometime after the quake, causing the dizziness.
My fellow Nihongo 1 classmates (yes, we’re all foreign students) exchanged details of our first jishin experiences and most agreed that Lee-san could have won the prize for the most embarrassing jishin moment. She was preparing for her evening shower and in the process of undressing when it happened. Not quite realizing that it was the jishin that shook her door loudly, thinking it was her friend who wanted to enter her room, she yelled in Mandarin “Wait a minute, I’m coming. Don’t shake the door. I’m coming!” She turned red when she realized that it was jishin, that there was no one at the door and not only her door but her whole room was shaking vigorously. But I’ve been told that scientists have been predicting a Big One to happen in the Kanto region (Tokyo region) end of this year and the management of the dorm has already prepared an “emergency pack” for each room consisting of a metallic bag and a torch light. Yes, even the locals who are so used to them worry about jishin too.
Sunday too was my first bazaar experience. There was a bazaar organized by KIND, Komaba International Friendship Club. It was more like a flea market of some sort, selling lots of cheap clothing, practical goods and some souvenirs. Japanese tend to throw out things that are only slightly worn out, and electrical items – electric blanket, fans, rice cooker, microwave oven - are often in excellent working order. The kind people of KIND even gave away a lot of free stuff at the end of the two-hours bazaar, and the sempais who are already used to these bazaars apparently had been waiting patiently just for the free announcement to be made before jumping in to grab sweaters, jackets and dining stuff. I got some good deals at the bazaar - 2 United Colors of Benetton sweaters and a Berkeley cardigan for 250 yen, a set of 4 Pyrex soup bowls for 100 yen, a set of 5 Lancel Paris tea cups for 100 yen and a nice clear glass plate (to serve nasi himpit on Raya) for only 10 yen. And at the end of the day, I even got a nice 2-candles-and-candle-holders set, 2 traditional plastic lacquered trays (often found at Japanese restaurants), a man’s shirt and another United Colors of Benetton sweater for free. Not bad, huh?
Monday was the last day for course registration. In addition to my Nihongo class, I finally decided to take up 3 courses in this autumn term and 2 courses for winter (intensive class – one course is finished in 4 or 5 days). I also found out on Monday, that since I didn’t sit for my entrance exam last month, I will remain a Research student until next September. I’ve been hoping to become a full time student by next semester, so that I could enjoy student discounts. Research students are not entitled to enjoy student discounts, or better known as gakuwari. And those who sit for the entrance exam in April would only be a full time student in September, subject to passing the exam as well as passing the interview to be held after the exam. So it looks like I’ll be spending three years doing my MA after all, a year as a research student and two years as full-time students. But the advantage I have over my JPA-sponsored colleagues is that I can transfer my credits for those courses I take as a research student when I become a full time student, where else they have to do their language course for a year and then only enter their university of choice to do their masters. And finishing my course required credits earlier means I’ll be able to spend more time at home and concentrate on my dissertation later on, insya Allah.
Tuesday, I had one of those weekly grammar test for Nihongo. I haven’t been doing too badly so far, since I’ve learned a little Nihongo back in 2003. But the class, although merely at elementary level, is rather intensive and I do worry about not doing well. After all, despite not being counted towards my degree credit accumulation, Nihongo 1 will still appear on my transcript, so I do hope I can do well in this subject. If all goes well, I even intend to enroll in Nihongo 2 class later on. While I don’t intend to be able to understand and write lots of Kanji characters, I do intend to be able to converse rather fluently in Nihongo. At least to the point of understanding the conversations in those Japanese dorama I like without having to rely too heavily on the subtitles.
Wednesday was the first day I fasted this year. My post childbirth bleeding did not stop yet on that day, but it had already went further than the 40 days allotment for nifas, so I was able to pray and fast. Since I have class at fifth period on Wednesdays which ends at 5.50 p.m., it meant I have to have my iftar (a quick gulp of Aquarius isotonic drink at 5.02 p.m.) in the class and rushed to pray Maghrib at the lockers area before I went back (Isyak is at 6.29 p.m.) I joined Piseth, a Cambodian friend who arrived on the same day I arrived, stays at the same dorm and attends the same school as me, with his group of Cambodian friends on the way back to the eki. Since it was my first day of fasting, I was feeling terribly hungry and they agreed to accompany me to have dinner at Tenya. Since technically I was still in my 44-days-confinement period, I passed up on the delicious tendon (rice with tempura pieces of prawn, squid, fish and vegetables) and ended up having yasai tendon (rice with 6 pieces vegetables tempura) as my first real iftar this year.
Thursday was the day Datin Seri Endon Mahmood , 64, the wife of Pak Lah, Malaysian Prime Minister, passed away in Putrajaya, ending her long battle with breast cancer. It was a sad day and I’m glad to be told that not only RTM but even TV3 paid their tribute by canceling all entertainment shows on their station and broadcasted Quranic recitals all day long. She passed away in the holy month of Ramadhan and on a Thursday, which is believed by many to be a good day, so that might be a good sign of some sort. She has left her own legacy – the comeback of nyonya kebaya and the relived batik industry. While it was never made official, it’s believed that the government officials have to wear batik on the 1st and 15th of every month because she asked Pak Lah to introduce that policy in order to sustain the Malaysian batik industry. May Allah bless her soul and may Allah give Pak Lah the strength to cope with his loss. Al-fatihah
Friday was a busy day. I had no class since it was a day off for Waseda – commemorating its 123rd birthday. In the morning, I went to Naka Meguro to pick up my Alien Registration card at the ward office. So now I don’t have to carry my passport everywhere with me anymore. Then I went to Shin-Okubo to get some halal meat and Thai rice as well as bought a new prepaid calling card. The meat is part of my preparation for Raya as I intend to make some rending. We’ll see how it goes. At about 3.00 p.m., I went out again. This time to Gyotoku in Chiba to have iftar at my friend Daud’s and Sarina’s place. Sarina cooked nasi minyak and ayam masak merah that day, and she even served some cekodok pisang and pudding jagung for iftar. (Eat your heart out Mek Ja, heheheh). I was more than thrilled of course – my first proper iftar meal of the year, complete with delicious Tunisian dates as starter.
After Maghrib, Daud drove us out to some places in Gyotoku. First stop was Seiyu depato, to get some underpants for their 2-1/2 year old daughter Balqis. Sarina took me to the top floor where a 100 yen shop was located – and my, that was one of the best 100 yen shops I’d ever went to. Bought some stuff there and since Seiyu was having a sale, I stopped by at the shoes department. The Admiral pair of sneakers I’m using currently is a bit big – maybe because I bought it when I was pregnant and my feet was a half size bigger than usual. I managed to get myself a new pair of comfortable shoes for less than a 1000 yen, and that’s quite a feat!
We then went to Tanpopo, a shop selling used clothes to hunt for a winter jacket. There were many affordable jackets on sale – but the really good ones were either too expensive (nearly 10,000 yen) or too small for me. I finally settled for a dark blue jacket with three large black buttons in a classic cut that costs less than 500yen. I have to clean it up a bit – but since I don’t intend to bring it back home to Malaysia, I would say that it can serve its purpose well, insya Allah.
We stopped by at Joshin, an electrical goods outlet before we returned to their house. Daud then joined some of his neighbours downstairs, leaving Sarina and I to chat freely since Balqis was already asleep. It feels good having a fellow Malay and Muslim to chat to sometimes. I seldom bump into other Malaysians at school and while I sometimes use Bahasa to converse with Savitri, my Indonesian classmate in Nihongo 1, she’s not a fellow Muslim. Which means, I can’t talk about Ramadhan or Eid or other Islamic-related matters the way I long to. So, yes, it feels good to be able to chat with Sarina or any other fellow Malaysian Muslim female. And since Sarina is about 6 months pregnant with her second child, and I’ve just got a child a little over a month ago, we even have more to talk about. Err, and did I say that we had our chat over a teapot of teh tarik – my first teh tarik treat post childbirth and since my arrival in Japan.
I left Gyotoku at about 10.40 and it was nearly midnight when I arrived home. Got a phonecall from Faizly, one of the three Malaysian kohais staying in the same dorm, informing me about the time to go to Tokodai’s Cultural Fest the following morning. All three kohais – Faizly, Fahmi and Hafiz are engineering students at Tokyo Institute of Technology, better known as Tokodai. Faizly told me about the coming cultural fest, invited me to join them and I’ve said yes.
Saturday was an interesting day and thus deserves a whole blog entry.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Not another horror birth story
When Ann, a friend who had just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on 1st Ramadhan, asked me about my birth experience, I asked her to read my blog.
“Why? Are you trying to discourage people from pregnancy?” Ann asked me.
I was flabbergasted. Why would I want to do such thing?
“Well, if I were to blog my own experience, I think my story will discourage people from getting pregnant..My sister certainly thinks so,” Ann added.
I pled her to tell me more.
In what she described as a surreal experience, Ann first thought she was going to have a normal vaginal birth. She started feeling some contraction at 7.00 in the morning, but only went into labour room at about 10.00 a.m. She was given epidural but when she stopped dilating at 6cm after more than 2 hours, and the baby’s heartbeat slowed down during contractions, the doctor decided to do a c-section.
Like a whirlwind they had her signing some papers consenting the surgery and wheeled her to the operating theatre, bumping the cart along the way. She was feeling so very hungry, but of course as it was the first day of the fasting month, she had not eaten anything that morning. And when she pled with the nurses for some water, they said no. Upon reaching the operation theatre, the nurse asked whether or not she had eaten and of course the answer was a weak no and she could not help noticing the gleam on the nurses’ faces. She knew then and there that they had been unhelpful just to make sure that if c-section became necessary, it would be easier to operate on her as she had been fasting all along.
She trembled in the freezing room throughout the operation. They even put her on the laughing gas mask. After about 15 minutes, plop, the 2.6kg baby came out. And then, for the next 1 ½ hours, they started stitching all her internals which she could actually felt and heard, and really bothered her. And then the doctor sprayed something on her wound, so basically she had just one neat line appearing in the end.
“But surely meeting and holding your baby makes all the pain in the world worth it?” I asked further.
“I beg to differ,” Ann said, “I didn’t feel that wondrous feeling everybody told me about. When they gave him for me to hold, I could still feel some abdominal pain. And I was drowsy from all the painkillers and laughing gas, so I was afraid to hold him for long in case I drop him by accident.”
And that, dear all, is a real life experience. Different people go through different kind of birth experiences. While I sincerely hope that Ann’s story would not scare people off pregnancy and giving birth, I certainly hope sharing her story will educate more about the process and the medical interventions involved in labour and giving birth.
After missing that wondrous feel at birth, here’s hoping that Ann and her newfound joy, Ahmad Muizz will share a lot of wonderful years together.
“Why? Are you trying to discourage people from pregnancy?” Ann asked me.
I was flabbergasted. Why would I want to do such thing?
“Well, if I were to blog my own experience, I think my story will discourage people from getting pregnant..My sister certainly thinks so,” Ann added.
I pled her to tell me more.
In what she described as a surreal experience, Ann first thought she was going to have a normal vaginal birth. She started feeling some contraction at 7.00 in the morning, but only went into labour room at about 10.00 a.m. She was given epidural but when she stopped dilating at 6cm after more than 2 hours, and the baby’s heartbeat slowed down during contractions, the doctor decided to do a c-section.
Like a whirlwind they had her signing some papers consenting the surgery and wheeled her to the operating theatre, bumping the cart along the way. She was feeling so very hungry, but of course as it was the first day of the fasting month, she had not eaten anything that morning. And when she pled with the nurses for some water, they said no. Upon reaching the operation theatre, the nurse asked whether or not she had eaten and of course the answer was a weak no and she could not help noticing the gleam on the nurses’ faces. She knew then and there that they had been unhelpful just to make sure that if c-section became necessary, it would be easier to operate on her as she had been fasting all along.
She trembled in the freezing room throughout the operation. They even put her on the laughing gas mask. After about 15 minutes, plop, the 2.6kg baby came out. And then, for the next 1 ½ hours, they started stitching all her internals which she could actually felt and heard, and really bothered her. And then the doctor sprayed something on her wound, so basically she had just one neat line appearing in the end.
“But surely meeting and holding your baby makes all the pain in the world worth it?” I asked further.
“I beg to differ,” Ann said, “I didn’t feel that wondrous feeling everybody told me about. When they gave him for me to hold, I could still feel some abdominal pain. And I was drowsy from all the painkillers and laughing gas, so I was afraid to hold him for long in case I drop him by accident.”
And that, dear all, is a real life experience. Different people go through different kind of birth experiences. While I sincerely hope that Ann’s story would not scare people off pregnancy and giving birth, I certainly hope sharing her story will educate more about the process and the medical interventions involved in labour and giving birth.
After missing that wondrous feel at birth, here’s hoping that Ann and her newfound joy, Ahmad Muizz will share a lot of wonderful years together.
Selipar Jepun
* with apology to Encik Naga and my non-BM readers
Aku. Duduk asrama. Dapur kongsi beramai-ramai. Di tengah-tengah bangunan.
Pagi Khamis. Tergesa-gesa. Keluar bilik. Beg sekolah di bahu. Singgah di dapur. Ambil o-bento. Dimasak malam tadi.
Aku. Berjalan terus. Mahu naik lif. Turun bawah. Keluar asrama. Terus ke eki.
Oit! Oit! Nak ke mana tu?
Aku. Pandang kaki. Berstokin tebal. Berselipar jepun.
Aku. Duduk asrama. Dapur kongsi beramai-ramai. Di tengah-tengah bangunan.
Pagi Khamis. Tergesa-gesa. Keluar bilik. Beg sekolah di bahu. Singgah di dapur. Ambil o-bento. Dimasak malam tadi.
Aku. Berjalan terus. Mahu naik lif. Turun bawah. Keluar asrama. Terus ke eki.
Oit! Oit! Nak ke mana tu?
Aku. Pandang kaki. Berstokin tebal. Berselipar jepun.
Friday, October 14, 2005
5ive
Dear A, here’s the answers to the questions – only that I’ve shortened them to 5ive because 5ive is my favourite number (and it cuts down the thinking time to do this). By the way dear, I think you should start your own blog…
5ive things I plan to do before I die
1) Performing hajj with hubby (he’s already performed it – but I need my mahram…)
2) Settled down in a mortgage-free home, surrounded by loving family and great friends.
3) To be seriously involved in at least one charity group - to promote Islam, women’s rights, children’s rights and would love to get to know some Orang Asli community better.
4) Paragliding/hand gliding/parachuting at least once (Actually I really want to try bungy jumping – but hubby has already stressed that it is not permissible).
5) Competing with hubby in buying lots of books and kitabs and has a large, organised private library.
5ive things I can do
1) Make ‘lemonade’ when life sends me ‘lemons’
2) Listen to other people’s problems and not be judgemental.
3) Climb mountains (maybe not now – but I know I can and I had)
4) Make nice mee bandung and laici kang
5) Sing a few songs quite well (yeah – easy and safe songs like Man Bai’s “Kau Ilhamku”)
5ive celebrity crushes
1) Hizairi Othman
2) Aaron Kwok Fu Sing
3) Kimura Takuya
4) Keanu Reeves
5) Fujiki Nauhito
5ive things that attract me to the opposite sex (traits that I found in my hubby, alhamdulillah)
1. Iman – someone I can look up to as my Imam.
2. Patience and tolerance – someone who can bear with me at all times
3. Honesty – someone I can trust and able to tell me the truth even if truth hurts
4. Shares a lot in common with enough differences – so we can agree on principal things yet still learn new things from each other
5. Inner strength and beauty – the kind that lasts, as I want us to grow old gracefully together.
(Him having beautiful soulful eyes, great figure with the right height and a great sense of humor is a bonus for me, of course, heheheh…)
5ive victims I can tag
1) Dakwanie
2) Kit
3) Zyrin
4) Maknenek
5) Dr Boring
5ive things I plan to do before I die
1) Performing hajj with hubby (he’s already performed it – but I need my mahram…)
2) Settled down in a mortgage-free home, surrounded by loving family and great friends.
3) To be seriously involved in at least one charity group - to promote Islam, women’s rights, children’s rights and would love to get to know some Orang Asli community better.
4) Paragliding/hand gliding/parachuting at least once (Actually I really want to try bungy jumping – but hubby has already stressed that it is not permissible).
5) Competing with hubby in buying lots of books and kitabs and has a large, organised private library.
5ive things I can do
1) Make ‘lemonade’ when life sends me ‘lemons’
2) Listen to other people’s problems and not be judgemental.
3) Climb mountains (maybe not now – but I know I can and I had)
4) Make nice mee bandung and laici kang
5) Sing a few songs quite well (yeah – easy and safe songs like Man Bai’s “Kau Ilhamku”)
5ive celebrity crushes
1) Hizairi Othman
2) Aaron Kwok Fu Sing
3) Kimura Takuya
4) Keanu Reeves
5) Fujiki Nauhito
5ive things that attract me to the opposite sex (traits that I found in my hubby, alhamdulillah)
1. Iman – someone I can look up to as my Imam.
2. Patience and tolerance – someone who can bear with me at all times
3. Honesty – someone I can trust and able to tell me the truth even if truth hurts
4. Shares a lot in common with enough differences – so we can agree on principal things yet still learn new things from each other
5. Inner strength and beauty – the kind that lasts, as I want us to grow old gracefully together.
(Him having beautiful soulful eyes, great figure with the right height and a great sense of humor is a bonus for me, of course, heheheh…)
5ive victims I can tag
1) Dakwanie
2) Kit
3) Zyrin
4) Maknenek
5) Dr Boring
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
The plastic and slapstick variety shows
I seriously envy Masni, who’s now in Cardiff for getting good shows to watch on TV. We would be chatting and she’ll let me know that she’s watching Super Nanny or How Clean Is Your House or Under the Hammer or some other entertaining-yet-educating reality tv shows lucky her gets to watch on free-to-air TV in UK. Not that I’m a big fan of the idiot box, but well, they sure sound a lot more interesting than those variety shows we get daily in Japan.
What kind of variety show? Oh, they have variety of variety shows – cooking variety shows, singing variety shows, multi-talents variety shows, variety shows with lots of interviews and the list goes on and on and on. And here – the show business is borderless, so you’ll see the hosts and entertainers, with a quick fix on costumes and make-ups, appearing on shows on different networks all the time.
I was caught watching one while having dinner one night by Amy, who lives across the hall. “Oh, you are not really watching this IQ reducing stuff, right?” Yes, I don’t understand most of what’s being said – I watched it because I wanted to watch something while I was eating and that’s all. And there wasn’t anything else better to watch.
Seriously – Amy have asked me to swear off Japanese variety shows because of their IQ reducing content. There’s nothing substantial to them, the acting too plastic and they are almost always filled with lots of slapstick. While one doesn’t have to understand what is being said to be able to laugh at slapstick jokes, a heavy dose of it could be rather errr… nauseating. But I guess, at the end of the day, watching some Japanese variety shows while having dinner could not be as damaging as info-mania…
Still, I envy Masni and all of you who get to enjoy good TV shows. I miss the AXN channel. I miss being able to watch lots of English programs. Many English programs and movies are translated to Japanese when they are shown here. But lest I forget, I must be thankful for small things – so I’m thankful that at least someone in NHK has sense enough to air Desperate Housewives in English on BS-2 every Wednesday nights…
What kind of variety show? Oh, they have variety of variety shows – cooking variety shows, singing variety shows, multi-talents variety shows, variety shows with lots of interviews and the list goes on and on and on. And here – the show business is borderless, so you’ll see the hosts and entertainers, with a quick fix on costumes and make-ups, appearing on shows on different networks all the time.
I was caught watching one while having dinner one night by Amy, who lives across the hall. “Oh, you are not really watching this IQ reducing stuff, right?” Yes, I don’t understand most of what’s being said – I watched it because I wanted to watch something while I was eating and that’s all. And there wasn’t anything else better to watch.
Seriously – Amy have asked me to swear off Japanese variety shows because of their IQ reducing content. There’s nothing substantial to them, the acting too plastic and they are almost always filled with lots of slapstick. While one doesn’t have to understand what is being said to be able to laugh at slapstick jokes, a heavy dose of it could be rather errr… nauseating. But I guess, at the end of the day, watching some Japanese variety shows while having dinner could not be as damaging as info-mania…
Still, I envy Masni and all of you who get to enjoy good TV shows. I miss the AXN channel. I miss being able to watch lots of English programs. Many English programs and movies are translated to Japanese when they are shown here. But lest I forget, I must be thankful for small things – so I’m thankful that at least someone in NHK has sense enough to air Desperate Housewives in English on BS-2 every Wednesday nights…
Monday, October 10, 2005
Five reasons...
why I have to put a msjbox on my blog - as I was told by dakwanie, in her words:
"1- sajer sesuka
2- sajer nak bagi i test my invite power
3- kot2 YM dah kena ban esok bley pakai chat je
4- macam meriah jer ada msjbox
5- berapa org jer ada msjbox "
Yeah, so I now have 30 invites for msjbox. (I have like 100 invites for Gmail, but I think everyone has gotten one Gmail account already)
Any taker?
"1- sajer sesuka
2- sajer nak bagi i test my invite power
3- kot2 YM dah kena ban esok bley pakai chat je
4- macam meriah jer ada msjbox
5- berapa org jer ada msjbox "
Yeah, so I now have 30 invites for msjbox. (I have like 100 invites for Gmail, but I think everyone has gotten one Gmail account already)
Any taker?
The webcam is just a message away
It’s raining outside as I write this. But no, I don’t feel gloomy at all despite the graying skies and the drizzle that has been going on since this morning. I’m feeling as sunshiny as yesterday when Kimi Raikonnen won the dramatic race in Suzuka – and yes, while I do admire Kimi’s driving skills, it’s not his win that makes me feel this way.
I got to see my baby on live webcam telecast.
And boy - it sure feels good. Alhamdulillah...
Now, I don’t have to imagine how he looks like because I know how he looks like. I even asked Mak to move him around so I get to see the bald patches among newly grown hair on his head. Oh yes, he's grown. Masya Allah - I know he's my own son and mothers tend to think that their children are cute - but yes, I think he's just lovely, lovely, lovely. He’s a bit inactive today, according to Mak, because his temperature is a bit high. Mak is taking him to see a specialist tomorrow for some routine check-up, so Mak reassured me that she’ll check on everything – his temperature, recommended alternative baby formula, recommended medication for his rashes and all. While I absorb all the information, I took pleasure from watching my son sleeping soundly in his Mbah’s lap, touching the PC's screen, wishing I could reach out and touch him for real.
Anyway, turns out I don’t have to withhold any calls to hubby after all (the thought of having some sort of ‘revenge’ was kinda sweet despite us being in the forgiving month of Ramadhan, heheheh). And I guess I owe my brother Abang that anime cell puncher or whatever that he’s asked for, because he was the one who got the webcam installed at my uncle’s place.
Now, I’m just a message away from seeing my son on the webcam everytime my cousin is online.
#####
By the way, here are some pictures of my baby alongside his ‘uncle’, baby Ahmad Umar Al-Khattab. My hubby’s then 65-year old uncle got married to one tough lawyer a day before our wedding last year. My new aunt (who’s not that much older than me) and I discovered our pregnancy at around the same time. We also learned about us getting our respective scholarship at about the same time. She got the Chevening scholarship to do her MA degree in London, while I got my Mambusho scholarship to do my MA in Tokyo. Our sons were born a week apart from each other, Umar ahead of Huzaifah. Both babies are now in Malaysia under the care of their respective maternal grandmother while their parents are miles away. (Umar’s parents are both in London now, they left 28 days after he was born.)
I got to see my baby on live webcam telecast.
And boy - it sure feels good. Alhamdulillah...
Now, I don’t have to imagine how he looks like because I know how he looks like. I even asked Mak to move him around so I get to see the bald patches among newly grown hair on his head. Oh yes, he's grown. Masya Allah - I know he's my own son and mothers tend to think that their children are cute - but yes, I think he's just lovely, lovely, lovely. He’s a bit inactive today, according to Mak, because his temperature is a bit high. Mak is taking him to see a specialist tomorrow for some routine check-up, so Mak reassured me that she’ll check on everything – his temperature, recommended alternative baby formula, recommended medication for his rashes and all. While I absorb all the information, I took pleasure from watching my son sleeping soundly in his Mbah’s lap, touching the PC's screen, wishing I could reach out and touch him for real.
Anyway, turns out I don’t have to withhold any calls to hubby after all (the thought of having some sort of ‘revenge’ was kinda sweet despite us being in the forgiving month of Ramadhan, heheheh). And I guess I owe my brother Abang that anime cell puncher or whatever that he’s asked for, because he was the one who got the webcam installed at my uncle’s place.
Now, I’m just a message away from seeing my son on the webcam everytime my cousin is online.
#####
By the way, here are some pictures of my baby alongside his ‘uncle’, baby Ahmad Umar Al-Khattab. My hubby’s then 65-year old uncle got married to one tough lawyer a day before our wedding last year. My new aunt (who’s not that much older than me) and I discovered our pregnancy at around the same time. We also learned about us getting our respective scholarship at about the same time. She got the Chevening scholarship to do her MA degree in London, while I got my Mambusho scholarship to do my MA in Tokyo. Our sons were born a week apart from each other, Umar ahead of Huzaifah. Both babies are now in Malaysia under the care of their respective maternal grandmother while their parents are miles away. (Umar’s parents are both in London now, they left 28 days after he was born.)
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Missing
My son turned a month old yesterday. I still haven’t get to see his latest photo. Hubby, who was back home for the weekend told me that he could not find the cable to upload the new photos on the PC, so he sent me some old photos instead, taken a few days after I left KL.
I asked him when he would install the webcam as promised. Since it took ages for my brother to do it, I’d already asked my husband beforehand to buy the webcam and get it installed at my uncle’s place in Putrajaya. He told me instead that he did not manage to do it because it was already late when he arrived at Putrajaya the day before and when I called him, he was already on his way back to Seremban, from where he would be returning to Terengganu.
Perhaps if he had stopped at that, I would still be rational about it. But he went on to add, “Huzaifah hasn’t change that much, you know…”
“Yeah right, Mak told me that he had put on 1.3. kg – that’s a third of his weight at birth. His hair is growing. And Mak Tam told me that he’s getting chubbier. Yeah, right, it’s easy for you to say that he hasn’t change that much. You get to see him every other week. I haven’t seen him at all since I left. And babies grow so fast. So, don’t tell me that he hasn’t change that much. You can’t imagine what it’s like for me trying to imagine how our son looks like now. You can’t imagine how saddening to learn that he wants Mak Tam’s towel as his safety blanket rather than the batik sarong I left. You can’t imagine how difficult for me seeing other mothers holding and cuddling their babies and I don’t even know what my own child look like currently...” and although I’m not normally a hypersensitive person, I broke down there and then.
It’s not like I’m normally a demanding person – but it has already been 3 long weeks. My brother promised to get it installed as soon as possible when he sent me off at the airport – but I’m yet to see it. Now, hubby has already promised me that he would get the webcam, but he’s not sure when he will be back again because it’s Ramadhan after all and like most people, he doesn’t like traveling during Ramadhan. He’s thinking of returning home for Eid, but I doubt I can wait that long before seeing baby again.
Maybe I should just stop making calls to him until he get the webcam installed, just so he could have a taste of what it’s like missing someone so much…
#####
Yesterday was the birthday of a friend, mentor and favourite writer, Hizairi Othman. He’d gone missing for over 4 years now, since March 2001. I wonder how his mother is coping. It must be terrible for her – deep in her heart, she believes that he’s still alive, yet she’s unsure of the truth. His case is still filed under Unsolved Cases in Kajang’s Police Headquarters. The police used to invite a member of the family to identify unidentified bodies found. The family has tried all possible methods and used all their connections to try to find and locate him to no avail. They could only pray for his safety and safe return if he’s still alive. And they also pray that if he’s no longer alive, at least let them find the body so that a proper funeral could be held.
I haven’t seen my son for 3 weeks and it feels like ages.
I can’t imagine what it must be like for Hizairi’s mother, siblings or his fiancée.
My thoughts and prayers are with them always.
I asked him when he would install the webcam as promised. Since it took ages for my brother to do it, I’d already asked my husband beforehand to buy the webcam and get it installed at my uncle’s place in Putrajaya. He told me instead that he did not manage to do it because it was already late when he arrived at Putrajaya the day before and when I called him, he was already on his way back to Seremban, from where he would be returning to Terengganu.
Perhaps if he had stopped at that, I would still be rational about it. But he went on to add, “Huzaifah hasn’t change that much, you know…”
“Yeah right, Mak told me that he had put on 1.3. kg – that’s a third of his weight at birth. His hair is growing. And Mak Tam told me that he’s getting chubbier. Yeah, right, it’s easy for you to say that he hasn’t change that much. You get to see him every other week. I haven’t seen him at all since I left. And babies grow so fast. So, don’t tell me that he hasn’t change that much. You can’t imagine what it’s like for me trying to imagine how our son looks like now. You can’t imagine how saddening to learn that he wants Mak Tam’s towel as his safety blanket rather than the batik sarong I left. You can’t imagine how difficult for me seeing other mothers holding and cuddling their babies and I don’t even know what my own child look like currently...” and although I’m not normally a hypersensitive person, I broke down there and then.
It’s not like I’m normally a demanding person – but it has already been 3 long weeks. My brother promised to get it installed as soon as possible when he sent me off at the airport – but I’m yet to see it. Now, hubby has already promised me that he would get the webcam, but he’s not sure when he will be back again because it’s Ramadhan after all and like most people, he doesn’t like traveling during Ramadhan. He’s thinking of returning home for Eid, but I doubt I can wait that long before seeing baby again.
Maybe I should just stop making calls to him until he get the webcam installed, just so he could have a taste of what it’s like missing someone so much…
#####
Yesterday was the birthday of a friend, mentor and favourite writer, Hizairi Othman. He’d gone missing for over 4 years now, since March 2001. I wonder how his mother is coping. It must be terrible for her – deep in her heart, she believes that he’s still alive, yet she’s unsure of the truth. His case is still filed under Unsolved Cases in Kajang’s Police Headquarters. The police used to invite a member of the family to identify unidentified bodies found. The family has tried all possible methods and used all their connections to try to find and locate him to no avail. They could only pray for his safety and safe return if he’s still alive. And they also pray that if he’s no longer alive, at least let them find the body so that a proper funeral could be held.
I haven’t seen my son for 3 weeks and it feels like ages.
I can’t imagine what it must be like for Hizairi’s mother, siblings or his fiancée.
My thoughts and prayers are with them always.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Ramadhan Mubarak
It’s already the second day of Ramadhan. But somehow I could not quite feel the magic of this holy month yet. Probably because I’m still in my nifas (what’s nifas in English? I have some trouble explaining to some friends why I haven’t start fasting because I don’t know what nifas is in English), probably because I see people eating everywhere all the time here in Tokyo, probably because there’s no extra traffic flow after 5.00 p.m. to which I’m used to back in KL during Ramadhan (but then again, people are having their iftar at 5.20 p.m. here) and probably because class goes on as usual. Yesterday I actually reminded a colleague to have his iftar during class as he totally forgot that it was already sunset.
I met a probable neighbour-to-be yesterday. I’m now staying in a dorm but in order to bring my family to Tokyo, I have to rent an apartment. I already found a suitable apartment that meets my budget and basic requirements, but I have to wait until early next year before it’s vacated. The apartment is now rented by a Malaysian sempai (senior student) who is going back in March or April next year.
His neighbour is another Malaysian sempai who happens to be doing the same course I’m doing in Waseda Daigaku. We met by chance after class ended and were introduced by a colleague whose house is not far from his. I chatted with my possible neighbour-to-be for a while and then tried to take leave.
It was drizzling and I did not bring an umbrella with me, so he offered a used-100 yen- transparent-plastic umbrella for me to use. “Weh, mana boleh kena hujan aar dalam pantang ni”, he reproached me as I was about to leave our Faculty building. Since it was already dark, and the road a bit quiet, he offered to accompany me to the station. Sensing his sincerity, I gladly allowed him to accompany me.
We talked about this and that and found out that we had quite similar experience. He first left for Tokyo when his first baby was just 18 days old. He’d just returned to Tokyo after spending almost a month of his summer break in Malaysia and still in the process of getting over missing his now 7-month-old son. Having went through the experience of leaving a baby so soon after he was born, he could understand my current situation and feelings better than most.
I ended up following him for his first proper iftar at Restoran Mahathir in Shino-kubo. He offered to buy me dinner, as a sempai as well as possible neighbour-to-be and comrade-in-arms, as we exchanged more stories. Somehow we clicked almost immediately and it was easy talking to each other, almost as if we have known each other for years. Among others, we found out that we were both born in May and married to someone who was born in March. (We came to the untested conclusion that perhaps only strongheaded people born in May with supporting partners born in March would have done crazy things like we did – and yes it was agreed that I was ‘crazier’ than him.)
So, I had a really nice meal of curry, sambal ikan kembong and sayur kailan. Not too bad for the first iftar of Ramadhan, huh? Especially when they are all paid for by someone else, heheheh.
Anyway – here’s wishing all of you a blessed, peaceful and fruitful Ramadhan.
Selamat berpesta ibadah!
I met a probable neighbour-to-be yesterday. I’m now staying in a dorm but in order to bring my family to Tokyo, I have to rent an apartment. I already found a suitable apartment that meets my budget and basic requirements, but I have to wait until early next year before it’s vacated. The apartment is now rented by a Malaysian sempai (senior student) who is going back in March or April next year.
His neighbour is another Malaysian sempai who happens to be doing the same course I’m doing in Waseda Daigaku. We met by chance after class ended and were introduced by a colleague whose house is not far from his. I chatted with my possible neighbour-to-be for a while and then tried to take leave.
It was drizzling and I did not bring an umbrella with me, so he offered a used-100 yen- transparent-plastic umbrella for me to use. “Weh, mana boleh kena hujan aar dalam pantang ni”, he reproached me as I was about to leave our Faculty building. Since it was already dark, and the road a bit quiet, he offered to accompany me to the station. Sensing his sincerity, I gladly allowed him to accompany me.
We talked about this and that and found out that we had quite similar experience. He first left for Tokyo when his first baby was just 18 days old. He’d just returned to Tokyo after spending almost a month of his summer break in Malaysia and still in the process of getting over missing his now 7-month-old son. Having went through the experience of leaving a baby so soon after he was born, he could understand my current situation and feelings better than most.
I ended up following him for his first proper iftar at Restoran Mahathir in Shino-kubo. He offered to buy me dinner, as a sempai as well as possible neighbour-to-be and comrade-in-arms, as we exchanged more stories. Somehow we clicked almost immediately and it was easy talking to each other, almost as if we have known each other for years. Among others, we found out that we were both born in May and married to someone who was born in March. (We came to the untested conclusion that perhaps only strongheaded people born in May with supporting partners born in March would have done crazy things like we did – and yes it was agreed that I was ‘crazier’ than him.)
So, I had a really nice meal of curry, sambal ikan kembong and sayur kailan. Not too bad for the first iftar of Ramadhan, huh? Especially when they are all paid for by someone else, heheheh.
Anyway – here’s wishing all of you a blessed, peaceful and fruitful Ramadhan.
Selamat berpesta ibadah!
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Things One Learns After Two Weeks in Japan
... from the perspective of a Malaysian Muslim, that is...
McDonald's is a big No-No. One can:t even buy fries and Filet-O-Fish because they are all fried using lard. And darn - the fries smell so good... I know because the eki (train station) nearby my dorm is located right in front of one McDonald's outlet.
No, you can't buy fries or burgers at KFC or Mos Burger too. Something about the shortening used in their bread or the oil used or the mixing of everything.
A lot of Yoshinoya are open 24/7, but it goes without saying that I can't eat there.
But Tenya or Saizeriya are okay. There are almost always one or two outlets of Tenya or Saizeriya in major areas, and most sempai (seniors) welcome the newcomers by giving a treat for the newcomers at either Tenya or Saizeriya. Or if one gets lucky like me - (I got a treat each at) both.
If you have lots of money, don't fret about needing stuff at anytime of the day. There are plenty of konbinis (convenience stores) open 24/7 everywhere. From my last eki to daigaku (university), I pass by almost 10 konbinis. There's sunKus, Lawson, Family Mart, ampm, Daily Yamazaki and the familiar old 'sebeng erebeng' (7 Eleven)
But if you don't have that much money, shop at 100 yen Store or 99 Shop. After all, why waste money to buy an umbrella for 500 yen in a konbini when a slightly smaller version could be purchased at the 100 yen store? Besides, nowadays many 99 Shop are also open 24/7.
One does not need to know a lot of Japanese words to shop. Just pile up what we need and then pay accordingly. Should we need to ask for something out of reach, pointing to that thing and saying "Sore, onegai shimasu" would suffice.
Take the English version of Tokyo map everywhere. The one with train and subway eki names. It really is helpful for those who can't read kanji characters but still need to know how much to pay for the ticket.
Take the English version of the daigaku map everywhere. One never know when one just might need it - especially during the first month and one's still trying to find her ways here and there.
Bring a Nihon-go fluent companion who can also writes kanji character well when one needs to deal with the public office (Alien registration, National Health insurance, Family registration, etc) or open a bank account.
Don't take any 9.00 o'clock class if one can help it (but alas in my case, I have no choice) because that means one has to take early trains. The trains are packed to the max in early morning that the phrase `packed line a can of sardine' just take a whole new meaning. And yes - the case is often worse than what one used to endure in a KL bas mini.
The Halal Food Store is a place to get halal meat and stuff you seldom find elsewhere like Kicap Tamin, Indomie instant food, Indofood instant seasoning, Roti Pratha and Thai rice. Thai rice usually suits the Malaysians' taste buds better than their Japanese counterparts and yes - they cost a whole lot cheaper too (1000 yen per 5kg as against 2000 yen per 5kg for Japanese rice)
The Halal Food store could also be where one gets to meet and make friends with other Malaysians living in the same area.
The Halal Food store is also the best place to buy value-for-money international prepaid calling cards as opposed those cards sold in konbini. KDDI Super International Calling Card sold in konbinis for 1000 yen for example, allow only 23 minutes talk time for calls made to Malaysia. Tokyo No 1 Calling Card sold in the Halal Food Store for 2100 yen allows 5 hours talk time.
Many bread sold at the konbinis could not be eaten due to the animal product contained in the shortening. Depending on who you believe, some sempai will advise to go for Yamazaki pan and some will advise you to buy it from a bakery which use vegetable oil and plant-based shortening. But most seem to agree that Pasco products are a big No-No.
The display and smell emitting from the many bakeries are splendid. Even a simple Green Farm kiosk selling waffles at Shibuya eki could outdo any La Manila or Secret Recipe outlet in KL. But alas, one could never be too sure of the shortening used - so, just see, no touch.
Memorising a few important kanji characters like buta (pig/pork), o-sake and mirin could be beneficial.
Having a paper and pen handy and ability to draw well could be beneficial should the need arise to communicate something to non-English speaking Japanese.
McDonald's is a big No-No. One can:t even buy fries and Filet-O-Fish because they are all fried using lard. And darn - the fries smell so good... I know because the eki (train station) nearby my dorm is located right in front of one McDonald's outlet.
No, you can't buy fries or burgers at KFC or Mos Burger too. Something about the shortening used in their bread or the oil used or the mixing of everything.
A lot of Yoshinoya are open 24/7, but it goes without saying that I can't eat there.
But Tenya or Saizeriya are okay. There are almost always one or two outlets of Tenya or Saizeriya in major areas, and most sempai (seniors) welcome the newcomers by giving a treat for the newcomers at either Tenya or Saizeriya. Or if one gets lucky like me - (I got a treat each at) both.
If you have lots of money, don't fret about needing stuff at anytime of the day. There are plenty of konbinis (convenience stores) open 24/7 everywhere. From my last eki to daigaku (university), I pass by almost 10 konbinis. There's sunKus, Lawson, Family Mart, ampm, Daily Yamazaki and the familiar old 'sebeng erebeng' (7 Eleven)
But if you don't have that much money, shop at 100 yen Store or 99 Shop. After all, why waste money to buy an umbrella for 500 yen in a konbini when a slightly smaller version could be purchased at the 100 yen store? Besides, nowadays many 99 Shop are also open 24/7.
One does not need to know a lot of Japanese words to shop. Just pile up what we need and then pay accordingly. Should we need to ask for something out of reach, pointing to that thing and saying "Sore, onegai shimasu" would suffice.
Take the English version of Tokyo map everywhere. The one with train and subway eki names. It really is helpful for those who can't read kanji characters but still need to know how much to pay for the ticket.
Take the English version of the daigaku map everywhere. One never know when one just might need it - especially during the first month and one's still trying to find her ways here and there.
Bring a Nihon-go fluent companion who can also writes kanji character well when one needs to deal with the public office (Alien registration, National Health insurance, Family registration, etc) or open a bank account.
Don't take any 9.00 o'clock class if one can help it (but alas in my case, I have no choice) because that means one has to take early trains. The trains are packed to the max in early morning that the phrase `packed line a can of sardine' just take a whole new meaning. And yes - the case is often worse than what one used to endure in a KL bas mini.
The Halal Food Store is a place to get halal meat and stuff you seldom find elsewhere like Kicap Tamin, Indomie instant food, Indofood instant seasoning, Roti Pratha and Thai rice. Thai rice usually suits the Malaysians' taste buds better than their Japanese counterparts and yes - they cost a whole lot cheaper too (1000 yen per 5kg as against 2000 yen per 5kg for Japanese rice)
The Halal Food store could also be where one gets to meet and make friends with other Malaysians living in the same area.
The Halal Food store is also the best place to buy value-for-money international prepaid calling cards as opposed those cards sold in konbini. KDDI Super International Calling Card sold in konbinis for 1000 yen for example, allow only 23 minutes talk time for calls made to Malaysia. Tokyo No 1 Calling Card sold in the Halal Food Store for 2100 yen allows 5 hours talk time.
Many bread sold at the konbinis could not be eaten due to the animal product contained in the shortening. Depending on who you believe, some sempai will advise to go for Yamazaki pan and some will advise you to buy it from a bakery which use vegetable oil and plant-based shortening. But most seem to agree that Pasco products are a big No-No.
The display and smell emitting from the many bakeries are splendid. Even a simple Green Farm kiosk selling waffles at Shibuya eki could outdo any La Manila or Secret Recipe outlet in KL. But alas, one could never be too sure of the shortening used - so, just see, no touch.
Memorising a few important kanji characters like buta (pig/pork), o-sake and mirin could be beneficial.
Having a paper and pen handy and ability to draw well could be beneficial should the need arise to communicate something to non-English speaking Japanese.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Not everybody has the choice to be where they really want to be
Not everybody has the choice to be where they really want to be.
Because if I really have that choice, I would rather be at home with my baby, nursing him, kissing him, never tired of his wonderful smell and taking delight in everything he does. I just called Mak and Huzaifah was still awake, so I was able to hear him making some noises and Mak even let me ‘talk’ to him for a while. I miss him so much so that just hearing his voice was like a great big gift after almost a fortnight of not seeing him. Mak reassured me that he’s okay, and he’ll have his first month shot this coming Thursday. Mak promised she’ll brief me on the updates - of his increased weight, of his increased intake of milk, of his current favourite activities and what nots. Mak said for the time being he like being held so much so that Mak could only leave him on his mattress after he’s already fall asleep. If I really have a choice, I would rather be at home and spend all day long just holding him, nursing him and comfort him with my presence and warmth.
If I really have a choice, I would rather sleep and lie around and enjoy doing nothing for two months (apart from taking care of the baby). Most Malay female in their pantang are not even allowed to walk up and down the stairs too much. Normally somebody will cook and manage the household for them and they only have to lie down and enjoy the baby. Not me though, since I have to attend classes every day – 13 classes weekly for Japanese Language elementary course and a couple of classes for my MA. My hostel is quite far from the university. I have to change 2 trains every morning and walk for 25 minutes from the last stop to the university. Yes, I have to go up and down several stairs daily. And because I’m still wearing the barut and the bengkung, and because I’m supposed to walk in slow and small steps, I have to get ready earlier than most colleagues who attend the same 9.00 o’clock class every morning. Not to mention that I have to allow time to take all the vitamin and supplementary food after every meal. And yes, it goes without saying that I have to do all the cooking, the washing and the housekeeping (roomkeeping is more like it – after all, I just got a single room with own bath & toilet).
If I really have a choice, I would rather see my husband every other week, and look forward to spending some part of the Ramadhan together. It would be great to have him checking on my Quran recitation and to have him pampering me a bit and I know he wouldn’t mind getting whatever I ask for iftar if it could be found at the nearby Pasar Ramadhan. I would rather look forward to spending our first Eidul Fitri as husband and wife together, maybe even wear matching outfits on the big day and dress our baby in the same colour. (I’ve forgotten to pack even a single pair of baju kurung , so no baju raya for me this year). If I really have a choice, I would rather lie down next to him and listening to him whispering our hopes and our doa to our baby. And I would rather cuddle up to him after baby is asleep or talk to him on the phone on daily basis than just being able to hear his voice occasionally from a long distant.
But not everybody has a real choice to be where they really want to be.
And I just have to deal with that.
Because if I really have that choice, I would rather be at home with my baby, nursing him, kissing him, never tired of his wonderful smell and taking delight in everything he does. I just called Mak and Huzaifah was still awake, so I was able to hear him making some noises and Mak even let me ‘talk’ to him for a while. I miss him so much so that just hearing his voice was like a great big gift after almost a fortnight of not seeing him. Mak reassured me that he’s okay, and he’ll have his first month shot this coming Thursday. Mak promised she’ll brief me on the updates - of his increased weight, of his increased intake of milk, of his current favourite activities and what nots. Mak said for the time being he like being held so much so that Mak could only leave him on his mattress after he’s already fall asleep. If I really have a choice, I would rather be at home and spend all day long just holding him, nursing him and comfort him with my presence and warmth.
If I really have a choice, I would rather sleep and lie around and enjoy doing nothing for two months (apart from taking care of the baby). Most Malay female in their pantang are not even allowed to walk up and down the stairs too much. Normally somebody will cook and manage the household for them and they only have to lie down and enjoy the baby. Not me though, since I have to attend classes every day – 13 classes weekly for Japanese Language elementary course and a couple of classes for my MA. My hostel is quite far from the university. I have to change 2 trains every morning and walk for 25 minutes from the last stop to the university. Yes, I have to go up and down several stairs daily. And because I’m still wearing the barut and the bengkung, and because I’m supposed to walk in slow and small steps, I have to get ready earlier than most colleagues who attend the same 9.00 o’clock class every morning. Not to mention that I have to allow time to take all the vitamin and supplementary food after every meal. And yes, it goes without saying that I have to do all the cooking, the washing and the housekeeping (roomkeeping is more like it – after all, I just got a single room with own bath & toilet).
If I really have a choice, I would rather see my husband every other week, and look forward to spending some part of the Ramadhan together. It would be great to have him checking on my Quran recitation and to have him pampering me a bit and I know he wouldn’t mind getting whatever I ask for iftar if it could be found at the nearby Pasar Ramadhan. I would rather look forward to spending our first Eidul Fitri as husband and wife together, maybe even wear matching outfits on the big day and dress our baby in the same colour. (I’ve forgotten to pack even a single pair of baju kurung , so no baju raya for me this year). If I really have a choice, I would rather lie down next to him and listening to him whispering our hopes and our doa to our baby. And I would rather cuddle up to him after baby is asleep or talk to him on the phone on daily basis than just being able to hear his voice occasionally from a long distant.
But not everybody has a real choice to be where they really want to be.
And I just have to deal with that.
My first birth experience
A friend recommended sharing my birth experience. I guess every woman’s experience of birth is unique, but perhaps as a lesson for inexperienced mothers-to-be, I hope something can be learned from my experience. So guys, sorry if this entry is not quite up to your mmm… liking.
I started staining 2 nights before I gave birth. But there was no accompanying pain. I’d experienced mild contractions before, so I was sure that it wasn’t time yet. However, the next day my auntie (I was staying at Putrajaya, at my uncle’s place) insisted on having a doctor to take a look at it, well “just in case you have an opening and you do not realize it”. We went to the hospital where I was told that the opening was so small that only the baby’s hair could pass through. The doctor predicted that I would give birth after maybe 3 to 5 days.
The doctor’s prediction was far from true. That very night, I began feeling some contractions. Making the most of my before “pantang” time, I enjoyed a game of Scrabble with my cousins while stuffing myself with a quarter tub of La Cremeria ice-cream (Kakaq – I fell in love with La Cremeria ice cream after you introduced it to me). The contractions became stronger sometime in early morning and by 8.00 a.m., I noticed a steady flow of longer contractions which occurred about every 5 minutes. However, wanting to believe that it could be mere false alarm because somehow I was hoping that baby would wait for the father to come home, (and hubby was supposed to return that day) I waited and the contractions seemed to lessen a bit by 9.00 a.m. Nevertheless, by 10.00 a.m., I knew that I had to go to the hospital and asked Ayah (who, together with Mak, had been around since the previous evening after I returned from the hospital for the check-up) to send me there.
Ayah took a long time getting ready – it was 11.00 a.m. when we actually made our move. By then, I was really in pain that I simply refused to sit down when asked to do so by the nurse. I found walking able to lessen the pain. The nurse on duty took my blood pressure reading, checked my weight, even asked me to lie down to get a CTG reading (to check the baby’s heartbeat). Luckily, it wasn’t long when the doctor came to check on me. She checked my opening and told me that I was already 4cm dilated. Then she got my water broken. The dilation immediately grew to 8cm and already there was some rupture. So she asked the nurse to get me to a labour room pronto – it was time.
Then, everything happened so quickly. I was quickly wheeled to another room and asked to put on the birthing garment. The nurse asked me if I wanted to pass motion first but there was no time for it already. The next thing I knew, I was pushing. I remember somebody asking me if I would like to have my husband with me. Yes, very much so, thank you, but unfortunately, at that particular time he was still in Terengganu. It all happened so quickly that I did not even manage to let him know that I was going to the labour room. Baby was already too impatient to get out and see the world. As it happened, hubby only got to meet and hold baby for the first time about 12 hours after he was born.
I remember there were a few nurses around who were sort of cheering me on, encouraging me and praising me for my effort in pushing. I planned on attending an ante-natal class but never found the time to do so, so I really appreciated that I got a crash on-hand course on the technique of pushing. “Tarik nafas panjang-panjang…Push…. Push terus…. Curi nafas sikit, sambung push…Lagi… Push terus… Macam tu… Pandai… Lagi… Push terus..”
At one time when I was supposed to push, the nurse made a cut, but I wasn’t pushing so ouch – that really hurt… I actually pushed her hand away. She reprimanded me – “Puan, saya nak sambut anak puan ni, jangan la tolak tangan saya” Opppss sorry, that was my reflexes, rather than me acting on rational thoughts.
But like I’ve said before – it was quite easy (compared to many horror stories I’ve heard about first birth experience). I entered the labour room at 11.35a.m. and by 11.52a.m., my baby was safely delivered, alhamdulillah.
The nurse showed me the wrinkled-and-red-baby’s genital and asked me to pronounce whether it was a boy or girl. Initially hubby and I both hoped for a boy, but we had been told that it was going to be a girl when we went to a scan when I was in my 6th month of pregnancy. Apart from that, a lot of people had predicted me to get a girl based on the classic symptoms (tummy was small and more oblong like a watermelon instead of rounding like a ball, had a bad case of nausea and vomiting throughout the whole nine months, had more break-outs than usual, etc) So, we prepared ourselves for the arrival of a girl. In fact, I’d already even bought some bigger dresses in advance to be brought to Japan.
Imagine my joy and surprise when I saw that it was a boy. “It’s a boy!”, or so I exclaimed in wonder. Which made one of the nurses asked me, “Kenapa bunyi macam terkejut?” “Masa scan, doktor kata perempuan”, I explained. The nurse who held the baby and asked me to pronounce my baby’s gender assured me that it was a boy alright. She could tell from my expression that I was too delighted beyond words to learn that I gave birth to a boy after all. I was given a minute together with him after the nurse checked his vital signals, as he was laid on my chest, still red and quivering, just before he was cleaned. And my mind just went “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy…My baby is a boy…”
The nurse who cleaned my baby noticed a pair of pink jumpsuit in the bag I brought for the baby and teased me, asking me to keep the pink stuff for the baby’s future sister, maybe in two years time. And I just grinned in response, thinking how happy hubby would be to learn that we got a boy after all, just like we’d initially wished for.
Then my baby was taken to the waiting hall to be introduced to the waiting family. So, Ayah got the honour of calling the azan to my baby first since hubby was not around to do so. Later, my father-in-law got the honour of giving baby’s first tahnik (feeding the baby with a small mixture of zam-zam water, honey and tiny bits of dates). The nurse who brought him out to Ayah commented that the azan was one of the loudest ever in the waiting hall. Well, that’s Ayah – guess that was how he expressed his thankfulness of getting his first grandchild.
I had my first proper, quiet, one-on-one moment with baby about an hour after delivery, after the nurses had worked on getting the placenta out and stitched the perineum cut and tear. I was so thankful that breastfeeding came easily for both of us. Even the nurse who presented the baby to me noted that, as she told me that some mothers find it difficult to breastfeed for the first time due to inverted nipple or the baby do not know how to suck correctly. But with baby and me, it happened so naturally easy. It was almost as if he knew that he only had 11 days with me before he could stop feeding on me, so he had to make the most out of it.
Oh my – that first moment, the first time I was able to hold him close in reality after carrying him inside me for nine months – it was pure heaven. There is nothing quite as unique – the feeling of joy, wonder, thankfulness all mixed up together. I even tried to shut my awareness that I had only 11 days before I was going to leave him, just so that I could enjoy our first moments together more. I lied on one side, feeding him, and all wrapped up in taking note of his features – his innocent huge black eyes, his tiny long fingers(like that famous Bollywood heartthrob Hritrik Roshan, my baby has a dual right thumb – so in his case he could even raise three thumbs up!) his soft dark hair, his birth mark, and all.
Then, the painful experience began.
Well, I felt really hungry after delivery. Partly because everything that I ate that morning all came out as I kept vomiting back whatever I ate – bread, calcium crackers, a mug if Milo. My auntie was very concerned, of course, telling me that I was going to need all the energy to push. It’s not like I refused to eat, only that what I ate refused to remain inside. So, yes, I was really famished when I thought it was all over. I thought I would be wheeled to the ward just in time for lunch to be served.
But apparently, it was far from over.
The Kelantanese, 27-year-old nurse who did the initial stitches came to check on me. There was a blood clot on my left labia, so, she opened the stitches and I could feel and saw some blood smattering on her white plastic apron. She left for a while and came back with another more senior nurse. They discussed the tear that the junior nurse was having problem stitching since my natural tear happened on top of a vein and the senior nurse advised her to stitch it in another manner.
It didn’t work. The blood clot remained and when she pressed, it hurt. They then consulted the doctor (who broke my water and supervised the labour for a short while). She asked the nurse to re-open the stitches. This time, when the stitches were re-opened, I could feel some blood flow, but at least it did not splashed out like it did earlier. The doctor put a gauge on the tear, and decided that if the blood stop flowing, then no stitches would be necessary there.
After a while, it began to hurt even more that I had to shout for a nurse to come and check on me. The doctor came and realized that the swell had only worsened. So, she consulted another more senior doctor. After a little probing, they came to agree that the haematoma needed the attention of Ah Chan. When the doctors left, I asked a nurse who Ah Chan is, and was told that he’s a specialist for haematoma and hemorrhaging cases. Up till then, those who had been involved in the process were all women, so realizing that a male doctor would be coming, I asked for my tudung. By now I was experiencing a lot of pain because all the procedures up till then had been conducted without anesthetic.
Then Dr Chan arrived and he took a look at the haematoma and explained to me that he was going to open all the stitches and re-do them all over again, but this time I would be put under sedatives. The nurses put some IV drip on my left hand and injected me with some anesthetic on my right hand and I was asked to wear the laughing gas mask before I passed out. The laughing gas brought great relief because by then anything that could take my mind away from all the pain was very much welcomed. But I remembered before passing out, Dr Chan scolded the nurses for not notifying him right away after the first incident of haematoma. Yeay – at least somebody had the mind to do that because honestly, I felt angry too being probed and having the stitches opened and re-done several time without anesthetic.
I woke up a couple of hours later, feeling drowsy yet still very hungry and thirsty. A nurse checked on me and asked if I would like to feed my baby again, to which I said yes. Somehow, holding and feeding my baby was very therapeutic, took my mind away from my own feeling of hunger.
Dr Chan came to check on me after that and he seemed very pleased with the development as the swollen seemed to lessen a bit. He then asked me about what course I’m going to take in Japan. Which really took me by surprise, so I asked back, who told him about me going to Japan. “You did, when you were under sedatives”. Oh, I see… Later, I was told by Mak that according to him, I ranted about going to Japan and my worries of leaving the baby while he conducted the minor surgery, so he knew that it must had been on top of my mind at that moment.
Finally, I was sent to the ward at around 6.30 p.m., over six hours after I gave birth, where else normally, new mothers are sent to the ward about two hours after delivery.
Well, I just hope that if anybody else has any case of labial haematoma, the nurse will be asked to immediately consult the specialist doctor for it. While my experience of giving birth was relatively easy – going through the several processes of the stitches being opened and re-stitched is something I hope could be spared from others.
Still, at the end of the day, getting Huzaifah was worth it.
I started staining 2 nights before I gave birth. But there was no accompanying pain. I’d experienced mild contractions before, so I was sure that it wasn’t time yet. However, the next day my auntie (I was staying at Putrajaya, at my uncle’s place) insisted on having a doctor to take a look at it, well “just in case you have an opening and you do not realize it”. We went to the hospital where I was told that the opening was so small that only the baby’s hair could pass through. The doctor predicted that I would give birth after maybe 3 to 5 days.
The doctor’s prediction was far from true. That very night, I began feeling some contractions. Making the most of my before “pantang” time, I enjoyed a game of Scrabble with my cousins while stuffing myself with a quarter tub of La Cremeria ice-cream (Kakaq – I fell in love with La Cremeria ice cream after you introduced it to me). The contractions became stronger sometime in early morning and by 8.00 a.m., I noticed a steady flow of longer contractions which occurred about every 5 minutes. However, wanting to believe that it could be mere false alarm because somehow I was hoping that baby would wait for the father to come home, (and hubby was supposed to return that day) I waited and the contractions seemed to lessen a bit by 9.00 a.m. Nevertheless, by 10.00 a.m., I knew that I had to go to the hospital and asked Ayah (who, together with Mak, had been around since the previous evening after I returned from the hospital for the check-up) to send me there.
Ayah took a long time getting ready – it was 11.00 a.m. when we actually made our move. By then, I was really in pain that I simply refused to sit down when asked to do so by the nurse. I found walking able to lessen the pain. The nurse on duty took my blood pressure reading, checked my weight, even asked me to lie down to get a CTG reading (to check the baby’s heartbeat). Luckily, it wasn’t long when the doctor came to check on me. She checked my opening and told me that I was already 4cm dilated. Then she got my water broken. The dilation immediately grew to 8cm and already there was some rupture. So she asked the nurse to get me to a labour room pronto – it was time.
Then, everything happened so quickly. I was quickly wheeled to another room and asked to put on the birthing garment. The nurse asked me if I wanted to pass motion first but there was no time for it already. The next thing I knew, I was pushing. I remember somebody asking me if I would like to have my husband with me. Yes, very much so, thank you, but unfortunately, at that particular time he was still in Terengganu. It all happened so quickly that I did not even manage to let him know that I was going to the labour room. Baby was already too impatient to get out and see the world. As it happened, hubby only got to meet and hold baby for the first time about 12 hours after he was born.
I remember there were a few nurses around who were sort of cheering me on, encouraging me and praising me for my effort in pushing. I planned on attending an ante-natal class but never found the time to do so, so I really appreciated that I got a crash on-hand course on the technique of pushing. “Tarik nafas panjang-panjang…Push…. Push terus…. Curi nafas sikit, sambung push…Lagi… Push terus… Macam tu… Pandai… Lagi… Push terus..”
At one time when I was supposed to push, the nurse made a cut, but I wasn’t pushing so ouch – that really hurt… I actually pushed her hand away. She reprimanded me – “Puan, saya nak sambut anak puan ni, jangan la tolak tangan saya” Opppss sorry, that was my reflexes, rather than me acting on rational thoughts.
But like I’ve said before – it was quite easy (compared to many horror stories I’ve heard about first birth experience). I entered the labour room at 11.35a.m. and by 11.52a.m., my baby was safely delivered, alhamdulillah.
The nurse showed me the wrinkled-and-red-baby’s genital and asked me to pronounce whether it was a boy or girl. Initially hubby and I both hoped for a boy, but we had been told that it was going to be a girl when we went to a scan when I was in my 6th month of pregnancy. Apart from that, a lot of people had predicted me to get a girl based on the classic symptoms (tummy was small and more oblong like a watermelon instead of rounding like a ball, had a bad case of nausea and vomiting throughout the whole nine months, had more break-outs than usual, etc) So, we prepared ourselves for the arrival of a girl. In fact, I’d already even bought some bigger dresses in advance to be brought to Japan.
Imagine my joy and surprise when I saw that it was a boy. “It’s a boy!”, or so I exclaimed in wonder. Which made one of the nurses asked me, “Kenapa bunyi macam terkejut?” “Masa scan, doktor kata perempuan”, I explained. The nurse who held the baby and asked me to pronounce my baby’s gender assured me that it was a boy alright. She could tell from my expression that I was too delighted beyond words to learn that I gave birth to a boy after all. I was given a minute together with him after the nurse checked his vital signals, as he was laid on my chest, still red and quivering, just before he was cleaned. And my mind just went “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy…My baby is a boy…”
The nurse who cleaned my baby noticed a pair of pink jumpsuit in the bag I brought for the baby and teased me, asking me to keep the pink stuff for the baby’s future sister, maybe in two years time. And I just grinned in response, thinking how happy hubby would be to learn that we got a boy after all, just like we’d initially wished for.
Then my baby was taken to the waiting hall to be introduced to the waiting family. So, Ayah got the honour of calling the azan to my baby first since hubby was not around to do so. Later, my father-in-law got the honour of giving baby’s first tahnik (feeding the baby with a small mixture of zam-zam water, honey and tiny bits of dates). The nurse who brought him out to Ayah commented that the azan was one of the loudest ever in the waiting hall. Well, that’s Ayah – guess that was how he expressed his thankfulness of getting his first grandchild.
I had my first proper, quiet, one-on-one moment with baby about an hour after delivery, after the nurses had worked on getting the placenta out and stitched the perineum cut and tear. I was so thankful that breastfeeding came easily for both of us. Even the nurse who presented the baby to me noted that, as she told me that some mothers find it difficult to breastfeed for the first time due to inverted nipple or the baby do not know how to suck correctly. But with baby and me, it happened so naturally easy. It was almost as if he knew that he only had 11 days with me before he could stop feeding on me, so he had to make the most out of it.
Oh my – that first moment, the first time I was able to hold him close in reality after carrying him inside me for nine months – it was pure heaven. There is nothing quite as unique – the feeling of joy, wonder, thankfulness all mixed up together. I even tried to shut my awareness that I had only 11 days before I was going to leave him, just so that I could enjoy our first moments together more. I lied on one side, feeding him, and all wrapped up in taking note of his features – his innocent huge black eyes, his tiny long fingers(like that famous Bollywood heartthrob Hritrik Roshan, my baby has a dual right thumb – so in his case he could even raise three thumbs up!) his soft dark hair, his birth mark, and all.
Then, the painful experience began.
Well, I felt really hungry after delivery. Partly because everything that I ate that morning all came out as I kept vomiting back whatever I ate – bread, calcium crackers, a mug if Milo. My auntie was very concerned, of course, telling me that I was going to need all the energy to push. It’s not like I refused to eat, only that what I ate refused to remain inside. So, yes, I was really famished when I thought it was all over. I thought I would be wheeled to the ward just in time for lunch to be served.
But apparently, it was far from over.
The Kelantanese, 27-year-old nurse who did the initial stitches came to check on me. There was a blood clot on my left labia, so, she opened the stitches and I could feel and saw some blood smattering on her white plastic apron. She left for a while and came back with another more senior nurse. They discussed the tear that the junior nurse was having problem stitching since my natural tear happened on top of a vein and the senior nurse advised her to stitch it in another manner.
It didn’t work. The blood clot remained and when she pressed, it hurt. They then consulted the doctor (who broke my water and supervised the labour for a short while). She asked the nurse to re-open the stitches. This time, when the stitches were re-opened, I could feel some blood flow, but at least it did not splashed out like it did earlier. The doctor put a gauge on the tear, and decided that if the blood stop flowing, then no stitches would be necessary there.
After a while, it began to hurt even more that I had to shout for a nurse to come and check on me. The doctor came and realized that the swell had only worsened. So, she consulted another more senior doctor. After a little probing, they came to agree that the haematoma needed the attention of Ah Chan. When the doctors left, I asked a nurse who Ah Chan is, and was told that he’s a specialist for haematoma and hemorrhaging cases. Up till then, those who had been involved in the process were all women, so realizing that a male doctor would be coming, I asked for my tudung. By now I was experiencing a lot of pain because all the procedures up till then had been conducted without anesthetic.
Then Dr Chan arrived and he took a look at the haematoma and explained to me that he was going to open all the stitches and re-do them all over again, but this time I would be put under sedatives. The nurses put some IV drip on my left hand and injected me with some anesthetic on my right hand and I was asked to wear the laughing gas mask before I passed out. The laughing gas brought great relief because by then anything that could take my mind away from all the pain was very much welcomed. But I remembered before passing out, Dr Chan scolded the nurses for not notifying him right away after the first incident of haematoma. Yeay – at least somebody had the mind to do that because honestly, I felt angry too being probed and having the stitches opened and re-done several time without anesthetic.
I woke up a couple of hours later, feeling drowsy yet still very hungry and thirsty. A nurse checked on me and asked if I would like to feed my baby again, to which I said yes. Somehow, holding and feeding my baby was very therapeutic, took my mind away from my own feeling of hunger.
Dr Chan came to check on me after that and he seemed very pleased with the development as the swollen seemed to lessen a bit. He then asked me about what course I’m going to take in Japan. Which really took me by surprise, so I asked back, who told him about me going to Japan. “You did, when you were under sedatives”. Oh, I see… Later, I was told by Mak that according to him, I ranted about going to Japan and my worries of leaving the baby while he conducted the minor surgery, so he knew that it must had been on top of my mind at that moment.
Finally, I was sent to the ward at around 6.30 p.m., over six hours after I gave birth, where else normally, new mothers are sent to the ward about two hours after delivery.
Well, I just hope that if anybody else has any case of labial haematoma, the nurse will be asked to immediately consult the specialist doctor for it. While my experience of giving birth was relatively easy – going through the several processes of the stitches being opened and re-stitched is something I hope could be spared from others.
Still, at the end of the day, getting Huzaifah was worth it.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
21 days...
Huzaifah turns 3 weeks today.
Mak told me that he's so much bigger now than when I left him. Unfortunately at the moment I can't see how he's transformed because Abang hasn't install the webcam at home as I've requested.
Anyway, Mak said that they (Mak, Ayah& Huzaifah) are staying at Putrajaya, at an uncle's place, instead of Kampung Tunku, because my baby seems a lot more content and settled there. Ayah suspects that it has something to do with some supernatural presence - babies are supposed to be ultra sensitive to these stuff, so that could be the reason why Huzaifah seems easily disturbed at home.
He's growing well, or so I was assured by Mak. And his hair has started to grow too. He already had his head shaved before I left Malaysia. After a simple cukur jambul ceremony, hubby and I finished off the shaving process. I fed him as his father cut his fine hair off and later on shaved him until he was completely bald. The whole process took us about two hours, but it was rather easy for my hubby to shave him because he was not moving too much. And using a 3-layered sharp razor helped a lot.
Huzaifah had also been circumsised. Hubby insisted on that - so, Huzaifah was circumsised when he was just 4 days old. We did it at Kampung Baru Medical Centre and paid just RM130 for it. According to a cousin, the same procedure (plastic-bell?) costs a lot more at Hospital Tawakal or Pusrawi. I waited downstairs during the procedure - but Ayah was with him (hubby was in Terengganu) and Ayah said that he did not even flinched when the doctor circumsised him. But immediately after it was over, he wailed loudly. So, that was how he was presented to me by the nurses - wailing loudly, needing some comfort (and nursing) badly... Still, alhamdulillah, I'm glad we got it over and done with. An auntie told me that it's a lot more difficult to take care of a newly circumsised boy when they are a bit bigger - there's the pantang that we have to observe and the boy gets a bit reckless from not being able to move around like usual plus it hurts more. I didn't have to worry about any pantang - after all my baby only fed on milk.
I have yet to receive any latest photo of him, despite leaving my trustworthy Canon IXUS at home, so here are some 'old' photos taken on the day he had his cukur jambul ceremony...
Caught sleeping like his ibu - lying on one side - just before we woke him up for his bath.
He seemed okay with taking medicine (some antibiotic after the plastic-bell procedure)
The Tok Ayah (after whom we named him - Azmi is my father's kampung name) conducting the cukur jambul thing as baby was held by his father.
Done with cutting the hair off
Finally - totally bald. He seemed totally pleased with his new hair-do, heheheh...
Mak told me that he's so much bigger now than when I left him. Unfortunately at the moment I can't see how he's transformed because Abang hasn't install the webcam at home as I've requested.
Anyway, Mak said that they (Mak, Ayah& Huzaifah) are staying at Putrajaya, at an uncle's place, instead of Kampung Tunku, because my baby seems a lot more content and settled there. Ayah suspects that it has something to do with some supernatural presence - babies are supposed to be ultra sensitive to these stuff, so that could be the reason why Huzaifah seems easily disturbed at home.
He's growing well, or so I was assured by Mak. And his hair has started to grow too. He already had his head shaved before I left Malaysia. After a simple cukur jambul ceremony, hubby and I finished off the shaving process. I fed him as his father cut his fine hair off and later on shaved him until he was completely bald. The whole process took us about two hours, but it was rather easy for my hubby to shave him because he was not moving too much. And using a 3-layered sharp razor helped a lot.
Huzaifah had also been circumsised. Hubby insisted on that - so, Huzaifah was circumsised when he was just 4 days old. We did it at Kampung Baru Medical Centre and paid just RM130 for it. According to a cousin, the same procedure (plastic-bell?) costs a lot more at Hospital Tawakal or Pusrawi. I waited downstairs during the procedure - but Ayah was with him (hubby was in Terengganu) and Ayah said that he did not even flinched when the doctor circumsised him. But immediately after it was over, he wailed loudly. So, that was how he was presented to me by the nurses - wailing loudly, needing some comfort (and nursing) badly... Still, alhamdulillah, I'm glad we got it over and done with. An auntie told me that it's a lot more difficult to take care of a newly circumsised boy when they are a bit bigger - there's the pantang that we have to observe and the boy gets a bit reckless from not being able to move around like usual plus it hurts more. I didn't have to worry about any pantang - after all my baby only fed on milk.
I have yet to receive any latest photo of him, despite leaving my trustworthy Canon IXUS at home, so here are some 'old' photos taken on the day he had his cukur jambul ceremony...
Caught sleeping like his ibu - lying on one side - just before we woke him up for his bath.
He seemed okay with taking medicine (some antibiotic after the plastic-bell procedure)
The Tok Ayah (after whom we named him - Azmi is my father's kampung name) conducting the cukur jambul thing as baby was held by his father.
Done with cutting the hair off
Finally - totally bald. He seemed totally pleased with his new hair-do, heheheh...
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Two guys...
... I love the most...
Missing home terribly much and has started counting the days until I get to be back with my family again...
Missing home terribly much and has started counting the days until I get to be back with my family again...
Friday, September 23, 2005
Sorry for the long absence...
In the past month or so...
I had to move to a new office - where I was pushed from one department to another because nobody wanted an officer who could not serve for that long (since I was waiting to deliver and then had to go to Japan). I ended up being on pool at the Human Resource department of that particular office for about a month
I gave birth to a healthy baby boy weighing 3.03kg and 47cm in length at birth. After some consultation, we named him Muhammad Azmi Huzaifah. The birth was alhamdulillah, okay. I was admitted to the labour room at 11.35a.m. and Huzaifah was safely delivered at 11.52a.m. It was the after-delivery experience which hurt more - had a labial haematoma and my stitches had to be opened and re-opened several times before it was finally mended by a kind Dr Chan (who, by the way, learned about my going to Japan from me while I was under sedative...)
I left KL 11 days after I gave birth - which caused lots of concern among family and friends. Yam called me Perempuan Melayu Gila Terakhir for taking such a crazy move. But furthering one's study is also part of jihad, right?...
I arrived in Japan 3 days ago. Still adjusting to the weather, still adjusting to the new environment, still adjusting to being away from my newborn son (and the spilling milk from my bosoms are not making it any easier). I've met a few kind Malaysians and made some new friends at the Graduate School of Asia Pacific Studies in Waseda University too.
Will write more later, insya Allah.
By the way, here're some pictures of my precious baby...
I had to move to a new office - where I was pushed from one department to another because nobody wanted an officer who could not serve for that long (since I was waiting to deliver and then had to go to Japan). I ended up being on pool at the Human Resource department of that particular office for about a month
I gave birth to a healthy baby boy weighing 3.03kg and 47cm in length at birth. After some consultation, we named him Muhammad Azmi Huzaifah. The birth was alhamdulillah, okay. I was admitted to the labour room at 11.35a.m. and Huzaifah was safely delivered at 11.52a.m. It was the after-delivery experience which hurt more - had a labial haematoma and my stitches had to be opened and re-opened several times before it was finally mended by a kind Dr Chan (who, by the way, learned about my going to Japan from me while I was under sedative...)
I left KL 11 days after I gave birth - which caused lots of concern among family and friends. Yam called me Perempuan Melayu Gila Terakhir for taking such a crazy move. But furthering one's study is also part of jihad, right?...
I arrived in Japan 3 days ago. Still adjusting to the weather, still adjusting to the new environment, still adjusting to being away from my newborn son (and the spilling milk from my bosoms are not making it any easier). I've met a few kind Malaysians and made some new friends at the Graduate School of Asia Pacific Studies in Waseda University too.
Will write more later, insya Allah.
By the way, here're some pictures of my precious baby...
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Personality Meme
Okay, nobody asked me to complete this one, but I thought it's kinda interesting
So, here goes nothing
1. Nervous habits – resort to extra hand movements while talking or explaining things
2. Are you double jointed – No
3. Can you roll your tongue – No
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time – Not really, not the way The Rock could do it though
5. Can you blow spit bubbles – No
6. Can you cross your eyes - Yes
7. Tattoos – Have none and never will. Haraam maa…
8. Piercing – None
9. Do you make your bed daily - Yes - an old habit from boarding school
CLOTHES
10. Which shoe goes on first – Right
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? – Never
12. On the average, how much money do you carry - RM50 or less in the normal cash compartment of the wallet. But normally I have some extra RM50 tucked in some smaller compartment in the wallet or in the handbag
13. What jewellery do you wear 24/7 – Wedding and engagement rings – but not quite 24/7 because sometimes I forgot to put them back on in the morning. I’m not much of a jewellery person. Hubby has nothing to worry whenever we pass by Habib, Poh Kong, Wah Chan or Tomei outlets.
14. Favourite piece of clothing – Used to be my Puma maroon pair of corduroy jeans – oh-so-comfortable to wear. But hubby prohibits me from wearing it since he found it to be a tad fitting... Since I’ve also gotten rid of most of my Vietnamese suits, I don’t really have any favourite right now…
FOOD
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it - Twirl it
16. Have you ever eaten Spam – No
17. Do you use extra salt on your food – Occasionally when the food seems tasteless
18. How many cereals in your cabinet – Currently it’s Cookie Crisp. Often I opt for Koko Krunch or Gold Flakes, sometimes for any of Posts’ line-up.
19. What's your favourite beverage – Soya bean and plain water.
20. What's your favourite fast food restaurant – Used to be McDonald’s. And Burger King when I was in UK – I simply loved the Vegetarian Whopper back then. But I no longer frequent fast food restaurant that often nowadays.
21. Do you cook – Sometimes, but not much since I got pregnant. Used to love entertaining friends during Raya and birthdays, preparing my signature dishes of Mee Bandung or Mee Jawa along with Len chee kang and Mixed Fruit Trifle on the side.
GROOMING
22. How often do you brush your teeth – twice a day, in the morning & at night.
23. Hair drying method – With towel under the fan. Hairdryers damage my hair rather easily.
24. Have you ever coloured/highlighted your hair – Used to do some highlighting using balance from Mak’s dye after I finished applying the dye on her (using dyes that are not waterproof and approved with Halal sign). Was noticed by my sister-in-law when I was a newly-wed, who commented that only Muslim men going to war are allowed to dye their hair using henna so has never highlight my hair since then. By the way, she also made a fuss over my pair of hazel contact lenses (disposable pairs which I only wore during the month I got married) when my hubby was silent on it.
MANNERS
25. Do you swear – Almost never.
26. Do you ever spit – Only when I have to
FAVOURITE
27. Animal – Rabbit. Maybe because I was born in the year of Rabbit according to the Chinese calendar.
28. Food – Laksa, Chicken Rice, Tempura, Sushi.
29. Month – April/May – birthday months of many dear & close to me
30. Day – Raya
31. Cartoon – Samurai X, Kim Possible. A big fan of Transformers as a kid
32. Shoe brand – Hush Puppies, Bata (yes, they are cheap – but could be comfortable too)
33. Subject in school – History. Was really upset when I didn’t get distinction for it during SPM…
34. Colour – Shades of either Blue, Green or Purple
35. Sport – Ping-pong, Hockey. I love watching all kind of games (especially World Cups and Olympics) except for golf – inherit this habit from Mak, I guess.
36. TV shows – Fond of AXN stuff such as Alias, CSI and Lost yet also fond of girlie shows like Gilmore Girls and Desperate Housewives. Err, and not to mention all kind of Japanese dramas.
37. Thing to do in the spring – Breathing in the fresh air and enjoy the daffodils. Looking forward to enjoying the sakura in Japan.
38. Thing to do in the summer – Enjoy the tulips and summer fruits – strawberries, nectarines, peaches, apricots, etc.
39. Thing to do in the autumn – Walks in the park amidst all the colourful falling leaves
40. Thing to do in the winter – Enjoy the snow
IN AND AROUND
41. In the CD player – (or rather in the Real Player playlist) Quranic surahs and various nasyids. Sometimes alternated with J-pop songs by Hirai Ken, SMAP, Chemistry, Utada Hikaru etc.
42. Person you talk most on the phone with – Hubby
43. Reading – 1515 by Faisal Tehrani. Can’t wait to start on Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince since Kit has agreed to loan it to me. Also re-reading Questions and Answers on Pregnancy.
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors – Not really.
45. What colour is your bedroom – Pink, but I would paint it lavender if I could
46. Do you use an alarm clock – Seldom.
47. Window seat or aisle – Window normally, I enjoy watching out of the window during take off and arrival.
DUMB
48. What's your sleeping position – Lying on one side
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket – Usually yes – another old habit from boarding school.
50. Do you snore - Sometimes, especially when I was too tired.
51. Do you sleepwalk – No
52. Do you talk in your sleep – Girls in my dorm when I was 16 swore I did just so once – but no other incidents had been reported since.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals – Sometimes.
54. How about with the light on – Yes. I can’t sleep properly in total darkness. Used to sleep under glaring fluorescent light, but now can handle sleeping with just a small dim blue bulb on
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on – Could fall asleep anytime despite any noise going on if I was too tired. Actually I could fall asleep anywhere at anytime - most of my colleagues/classmates can testify to that, even during meetings and classes.
56. Last interesting person you met – Everyone's interesting in their own way, so can't say for sure.
So, now I'm passing this over to Kit, Kak Teh and Zyrin.
So, here goes nothing
1. Nervous habits – resort to extra hand movements while talking or explaining things
2. Are you double jointed – No
3. Can you roll your tongue – No
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time – Not really, not the way The Rock could do it though
5. Can you blow spit bubbles – No
6. Can you cross your eyes - Yes
7. Tattoos – Have none and never will. Haraam maa…
8. Piercing – None
9. Do you make your bed daily - Yes - an old habit from boarding school
CLOTHES
10. Which shoe goes on first – Right
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? – Never
12. On the average, how much money do you carry - RM50 or less in the normal cash compartment of the wallet. But normally I have some extra RM50 tucked in some smaller compartment in the wallet or in the handbag
13. What jewellery do you wear 24/7 – Wedding and engagement rings – but not quite 24/7 because sometimes I forgot to put them back on in the morning. I’m not much of a jewellery person. Hubby has nothing to worry whenever we pass by Habib, Poh Kong, Wah Chan or Tomei outlets.
14. Favourite piece of clothing – Used to be my Puma maroon pair of corduroy jeans – oh-so-comfortable to wear. But hubby prohibits me from wearing it since he found it to be a tad fitting... Since I’ve also gotten rid of most of my Vietnamese suits, I don’t really have any favourite right now…
FOOD
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it - Twirl it
16. Have you ever eaten Spam – No
17. Do you use extra salt on your food – Occasionally when the food seems tasteless
18. How many cereals in your cabinet – Currently it’s Cookie Crisp. Often I opt for Koko Krunch or Gold Flakes, sometimes for any of Posts’ line-up.
19. What's your favourite beverage – Soya bean and plain water.
20. What's your favourite fast food restaurant – Used to be McDonald’s. And Burger King when I was in UK – I simply loved the Vegetarian Whopper back then. But I no longer frequent fast food restaurant that often nowadays.
21. Do you cook – Sometimes, but not much since I got pregnant. Used to love entertaining friends during Raya and birthdays, preparing my signature dishes of Mee Bandung or Mee Jawa along with Len chee kang and Mixed Fruit Trifle on the side.
GROOMING
22. How often do you brush your teeth – twice a day, in the morning & at night.
23. Hair drying method – With towel under the fan. Hairdryers damage my hair rather easily.
24. Have you ever coloured/highlighted your hair – Used to do some highlighting using balance from Mak’s dye after I finished applying the dye on her (using dyes that are not waterproof and approved with Halal sign). Was noticed by my sister-in-law when I was a newly-wed, who commented that only Muslim men going to war are allowed to dye their hair using henna so has never highlight my hair since then. By the way, she also made a fuss over my pair of hazel contact lenses (disposable pairs which I only wore during the month I got married) when my hubby was silent on it.
MANNERS
25. Do you swear – Almost never.
26. Do you ever spit – Only when I have to
FAVOURITE
27. Animal – Rabbit. Maybe because I was born in the year of Rabbit according to the Chinese calendar.
28. Food – Laksa, Chicken Rice, Tempura, Sushi.
29. Month – April/May – birthday months of many dear & close to me
30. Day – Raya
31. Cartoon – Samurai X, Kim Possible. A big fan of Transformers as a kid
32. Shoe brand – Hush Puppies, Bata (yes, they are cheap – but could be comfortable too)
33. Subject in school – History. Was really upset when I didn’t get distinction for it during SPM…
34. Colour – Shades of either Blue, Green or Purple
35. Sport – Ping-pong, Hockey. I love watching all kind of games (especially World Cups and Olympics) except for golf – inherit this habit from Mak, I guess.
36. TV shows – Fond of AXN stuff such as Alias, CSI and Lost yet also fond of girlie shows like Gilmore Girls and Desperate Housewives. Err, and not to mention all kind of Japanese dramas.
37. Thing to do in the spring – Breathing in the fresh air and enjoy the daffodils. Looking forward to enjoying the sakura in Japan.
38. Thing to do in the summer – Enjoy the tulips and summer fruits – strawberries, nectarines, peaches, apricots, etc.
39. Thing to do in the autumn – Walks in the park amidst all the colourful falling leaves
40. Thing to do in the winter – Enjoy the snow
IN AND AROUND
41. In the CD player – (or rather in the Real Player playlist) Quranic surahs and various nasyids. Sometimes alternated with J-pop songs by Hirai Ken, SMAP, Chemistry, Utada Hikaru etc.
42. Person you talk most on the phone with – Hubby
43. Reading – 1515 by Faisal Tehrani. Can’t wait to start on Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince since Kit has agreed to loan it to me. Also re-reading Questions and Answers on Pregnancy.
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors – Not really.
45. What colour is your bedroom – Pink, but I would paint it lavender if I could
46. Do you use an alarm clock – Seldom.
47. Window seat or aisle – Window normally, I enjoy watching out of the window during take off and arrival.
DUMB
48. What's your sleeping position – Lying on one side
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket – Usually yes – another old habit from boarding school.
50. Do you snore - Sometimes, especially when I was too tired.
51. Do you sleepwalk – No
52. Do you talk in your sleep – Girls in my dorm when I was 16 swore I did just so once – but no other incidents had been reported since.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals – Sometimes.
54. How about with the light on – Yes. I can’t sleep properly in total darkness. Used to sleep under glaring fluorescent light, but now can handle sleeping with just a small dim blue bulb on
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on – Could fall asleep anytime despite any noise going on if I was too tired. Actually I could fall asleep anywhere at anytime - most of my colleagues/classmates can testify to that, even during meetings and classes.
56. Last interesting person you met – Everyone's interesting in their own way, so can't say for sure.
So, now I'm passing this over to Kit, Kak Teh and Zyrin.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Heartfelt sympathy...
Dear Laila and Zul,
When I received the sms earlier today, I was perplexed. The message was short “Aisyah meninggal” but it made me wondered a hundred questions. Which Aisyah? Why? When?
So I called Laila up to ask for clarification. What I got was a heartbreaking answer in a broken voice – “Baby aku, Aisyah, meninggal. Ni aku nak pegi Hospital. Petang ni atau Maghrib nanti nak solat jenazah.”
I was speechless.
I’ve known how you have waited for a princess in the family. After a succession of three boisterous boys, Aisyah finally made a grand entrance in your life a few months back. I remember how happy you looked, Laila, cuddling a precious little sweet girl in your arms. You were delighted when I visited you not long after Aisyah’s birth and presented you with a pink towel. Yes, towels have became my trademark gift for your newborns, unlike others who often receive baby clothes from me.
I did not have the heart to ask you why Laila Рit was shattering enough to listen to your voice quivering with pain and dismay as you told me that you were going to the hospital to get some things cleared up. So I only uttered the next clich̩ that came to my mind Рbe patient. Be strong. And quietly I added Рmy thoughts and prayers are with you and your family always.
Aisyah, being your first girl, was unique, special and irreplaceable. I know children are not interchangeable and the fact that you can have other children does not lessen the grief of losing her. I know that there is nothing to compare with the loss of an innocent child, and only those who have known such a tragedy can truly understand your sorrow. The pain that you are going through right now is beyond my comprehension. Though words may be meaningless right now, I hope and I pray that both of you will find some comfort in the love of family, the warmth of friends and the sympathy of all who care for you.
And may it be a source of inner strength to know that Allah, Most Loving, Most Merciful, is watching over you and your daughter and that throughout it all, as you keep on being patient, He’ll stay close by your side.
Dearest Laila, I'm here. You can call me any time of the day or night. I'll cry with you, I'll listen to you and I'll always have tissues.
Al-Fatihah…
When I received the sms earlier today, I was perplexed. The message was short “Aisyah meninggal” but it made me wondered a hundred questions. Which Aisyah? Why? When?
So I called Laila up to ask for clarification. What I got was a heartbreaking answer in a broken voice – “Baby aku, Aisyah, meninggal. Ni aku nak pegi Hospital. Petang ni atau Maghrib nanti nak solat jenazah.”
I was speechless.
I’ve known how you have waited for a princess in the family. After a succession of three boisterous boys, Aisyah finally made a grand entrance in your life a few months back. I remember how happy you looked, Laila, cuddling a precious little sweet girl in your arms. You were delighted when I visited you not long after Aisyah’s birth and presented you with a pink towel. Yes, towels have became my trademark gift for your newborns, unlike others who often receive baby clothes from me.
I did not have the heart to ask you why Laila Рit was shattering enough to listen to your voice quivering with pain and dismay as you told me that you were going to the hospital to get some things cleared up. So I only uttered the next clich̩ that came to my mind Рbe patient. Be strong. And quietly I added Рmy thoughts and prayers are with you and your family always.
Aisyah, being your first girl, was unique, special and irreplaceable. I know children are not interchangeable and the fact that you can have other children does not lessen the grief of losing her. I know that there is nothing to compare with the loss of an innocent child, and only those who have known such a tragedy can truly understand your sorrow. The pain that you are going through right now is beyond my comprehension. Though words may be meaningless right now, I hope and I pray that both of you will find some comfort in the love of family, the warmth of friends and the sympathy of all who care for you.
And may it be a source of inner strength to know that Allah, Most Loving, Most Merciful, is watching over you and your daughter and that throughout it all, as you keep on being patient, He’ll stay close by your side.
Dearest Laila, I'm here. You can call me any time of the day or night. I'll cry with you, I'll listen to you and I'll always have tissues.
Al-Fatihah…
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Why it's better to be street smart
Tok is rather fond of telling others on how she has raised her kids to be successful and that most of them went overseas to study. What she missed telling others was that her eldest son who worked hard to send his siblings to study abroad had never been to a university himself.
Yes, Ayah, the eldest in the family, worked hard right after he left school to help the family. He’s always been a big believer in operating own business rather than makan gaji. So, never in his life had he ever worked for someone else, rather, he’s always been answerable only to himself. He saved a lot and worked hard to find scholarships for his siblings, so that they could study abroad (back in the 80’s, Ayah trusted the education system in UK and US more than any of those provided at the local U). But as for his own qualification – he only studied up to Higher School Certificate level (akin to A-Level or STPM) and never found time after that to pursue a degree.
My younger brother, Abang, had gone to a lot more learning institutions than I did. He could declare himself to be former student of UUM, UiTM, KDU and the latest, MMU. But he’d never graduated. I guess when it comes to making money, Abang is too much of Ayah’s son, so he simply could not wait to begin his own enterprise and earn his own money. I’m glad to share that despite never finishing his studies anywhere, Abang is now rather successful as a producer of a few TV series. Yes, it goes without saying that he earns a lot more than his sister who managed to graduate in law does. He owns quite an impressive animation studio and has a team of creative staff working under his supervision, and I guess that’s quite an achievement for someone below the age of 30.
A friend of hubby’s is a successful financial planner and has a remarkable client base. He stopped studying after form five. Instead, he has gone for a lot of short courses, armed himself with learning and improving his English, kept polishing his skills to influence others and win a lot of new friends along the way. He works hard, perseveres, keep on persevering until he reached the level of Manager and now has travelled to a lot more places around the world than most people. He still works hard and now earns a lot than hubby who not only owns a Bachelor’s degree, but also a Masters degree.
Yes, education is important. But education does not necessarily comes from book or proven by that particular piece of paper ones get after three or four years of slaving over books, thesis and exams. A person can educate himself by having the ability to learn things from life and from experiences. In fact, sometimes, it’s vital to be more a street smart person than simply a book smart person. Being street smart often means that one has good judgment on life situations, on other people, and on himself, thus one is more sensitive to the environment and quick to adapt to it.
And I guess those abilities often make a better man, a better survivor than those who are proud of owning a degree yet do not possess similar qualities. Not to mention - earning more too ;-)
Yes, Ayah, the eldest in the family, worked hard right after he left school to help the family. He’s always been a big believer in operating own business rather than makan gaji. So, never in his life had he ever worked for someone else, rather, he’s always been answerable only to himself. He saved a lot and worked hard to find scholarships for his siblings, so that they could study abroad (back in the 80’s, Ayah trusted the education system in UK and US more than any of those provided at the local U). But as for his own qualification – he only studied up to Higher School Certificate level (akin to A-Level or STPM) and never found time after that to pursue a degree.
My younger brother, Abang, had gone to a lot more learning institutions than I did. He could declare himself to be former student of UUM, UiTM, KDU and the latest, MMU. But he’d never graduated. I guess when it comes to making money, Abang is too much of Ayah’s son, so he simply could not wait to begin his own enterprise and earn his own money. I’m glad to share that despite never finishing his studies anywhere, Abang is now rather successful as a producer of a few TV series. Yes, it goes without saying that he earns a lot more than his sister who managed to graduate in law does. He owns quite an impressive animation studio and has a team of creative staff working under his supervision, and I guess that’s quite an achievement for someone below the age of 30.
A friend of hubby’s is a successful financial planner and has a remarkable client base. He stopped studying after form five. Instead, he has gone for a lot of short courses, armed himself with learning and improving his English, kept polishing his skills to influence others and win a lot of new friends along the way. He works hard, perseveres, keep on persevering until he reached the level of Manager and now has travelled to a lot more places around the world than most people. He still works hard and now earns a lot than hubby who not only owns a Bachelor’s degree, but also a Masters degree.
Yes, education is important. But education does not necessarily comes from book or proven by that particular piece of paper ones get after three or four years of slaving over books, thesis and exams. A person can educate himself by having the ability to learn things from life and from experiences. In fact, sometimes, it’s vital to be more a street smart person than simply a book smart person. Being street smart often means that one has good judgment on life situations, on other people, and on himself, thus one is more sensitive to the environment and quick to adapt to it.
And I guess those abilities often make a better man, a better survivor than those who are proud of owning a degree yet do not possess similar qualities. Not to mention - earning more too ;-)
Monday, July 04, 2005
New banner, new look
I know this is late - but I was away for the past few days; not feeling quite well for two days due to sore throat, running nose and some fever plus two non-working days. But the banner looks great, right? Done by Maknenek & installed by the Super Blur Makcik a.k.a. Kak Teh - I really owe these two wonderful ladies!! Arigatou gozaimasu!
Anyway - Look Again has been around for over a year, so please consider the banner as an attempt of a revamp of some sort. I'm thinking of making some changes on my links too - but am too busy right now to re-organise the blog template. Maybe someday... we'll see, insya Allah.
Anyway - Look Again has been around for over a year, so please consider the banner as an attempt of a revamp of some sort. I'm thinking of making some changes on my links too - but am too busy right now to re-organise the blog template. Maybe someday... we'll see, insya Allah.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
On PPS 2nd Anniversary, Internetkrasi, The Hijab and PJJ
Yeay! Today is the last working Saturday for Malaysian civil servants. I hope the government will retain this 5-days week policy for good. Aaammmiiiiinnnnn :-)
Anyway – I’ve been wanting to blog about so many things but somehow could not find enough time doing so, here’s a quick note on this and that: -
# Firstly, I think it’s not only appropriate, but almost necessary, to applaud Aiz for a job well done with PPS. Like so many other Malaysian bloggers, I am glad that I can rely on this blog-tal, not only to increase my own readership, but to enable me sneaking a peek at other people’s thoughts and views. In a way, PPS is almost akin to KL Sentral Station – where blogs with different voices, nuances and definitions all come together under one roof just like KTM trains, Komuter, Putra LRT and Monorail all congregate at Sentral… Happy belated 2nd birthday PPS and here’s wishing that you will live on and on and on...
# Then, there’s that recommendation by this blogger to err, write a memorandum on this issue. The so-called issue on misuse and abuse of the Internet by civil servant is rather close to my heart since I use the e-mail a lot not only for official uses but also to interact with friends and colleagues; I make a lot of friends and also keep in touch with both friends and family via Yahoo Messenger and I blog. And yes, I do receive lots of funny and not-so-funny video via the email as well as downloading stuff on my own. I’ll try to write more about this some day, insya Allah.
# Next, there was this heartfelt plea by this blogger on this issue that actually stirred something inside me to share my own experience. But then again, I guess since Ayah had trained me to wear tudung since I was eight and I actually started to wear tudung properly (as in – at school, after school and even at home whenever non-mahram visited) when I was about 11, I guess my story won’t be as interesting as those who actually has to find real courage and strength to don the hijab, like this girl. Still, at the end of the day, I guess I worry more about those who are already wearing the hijab but are not showing qualities as Muslim women… (those who wear tudung but don’t mind losing their virginity before marriage, wear tudung but matched with really sexy outfits, wear tudung but indulge in heavy petting at public places – the kind of girls who got written about in Mastika and covered in NTV7’s Edisi Siasat a while back)… The kind which make some people come out with remarks such as “baik tak payah pakai tudung…” I worry about them as I worry about the trials and tribulations the future generation have to face in maintaining their dignity and modesty as practising Malay Muslim women.
# Then, another note by this blogger also actually touched somewhere deep inside since currently hubby is a ‘monthly husband’ and we have been a long-distance couple since our first month of marriage. Come September, when I have to fly to Japan to pursue my masters degree in Waseda and leave both him and baby behind first (for him to finish his course and then to apply for unpaid leave and for baby to get all her required early immunisation shots), it’ll be about five or six months before we’ll get reunited. It’s going to be very difficult being away from both a newborn baby and hubby. But nobody said that it would be easy. Besides, I believe if both of us do what we have to do as in accordance to Allah’s plan for us, then we should not be sad neither should we feel afraid as He promises that He will be with those who are patient…
This old nasyid below by Suara Hati, as I got on e-mail this morning, somehow reminded me that for those who have to be apart from their loved ones for a long time, life could be sweeter when we remind ourselves that it’s all in Allah’s will, not ours.
PERTEMUAN BUKAN MILIK KITA
Pertemuan menghadiahkan kita kasih sayang
Jika cinta satu pasti bertemu ia tidak ternilai
Kerana antara hati kita
Telah tiada antaranya lagi
Yang ada hanya cinta kasih Ilahi
Kita berpisah hanya sementara
Kerana pertemuan bukan milik kita
Jasad dan suara berjauhan sentiasa
Namun cinta abadi
Biar terpisah selalu menderita
Kerana syurga menagih ujian
Sedang neraka dipagari oleh nikmat
Bertemu tidak jemu berpisah tak gelisah
Bicara kita adalah bicara sufi
Tanpa suara dan kata-kata
Kerana penghubung kita adalah suara hati
Bertemu berpisah kerana Allah
Lagu: Suara Hati
Lirik: Pahrol Mohd Juoi
Anyway – I’ve been wanting to blog about so many things but somehow could not find enough time doing so, here’s a quick note on this and that: -
# Firstly, I think it’s not only appropriate, but almost necessary, to applaud Aiz for a job well done with PPS. Like so many other Malaysian bloggers, I am glad that I can rely on this blog-tal, not only to increase my own readership, but to enable me sneaking a peek at other people’s thoughts and views. In a way, PPS is almost akin to KL Sentral Station – where blogs with different voices, nuances and definitions all come together under one roof just like KTM trains, Komuter, Putra LRT and Monorail all congregate at Sentral… Happy belated 2nd birthday PPS and here’s wishing that you will live on and on and on...
# Then, there’s that recommendation by this blogger to err, write a memorandum on this issue. The so-called issue on misuse and abuse of the Internet by civil servant is rather close to my heart since I use the e-mail a lot not only for official uses but also to interact with friends and colleagues; I make a lot of friends and also keep in touch with both friends and family via Yahoo Messenger and I blog. And yes, I do receive lots of funny and not-so-funny video via the email as well as downloading stuff on my own. I’ll try to write more about this some day, insya Allah.
# Next, there was this heartfelt plea by this blogger on this issue that actually stirred something inside me to share my own experience. But then again, I guess since Ayah had trained me to wear tudung since I was eight and I actually started to wear tudung properly (as in – at school, after school and even at home whenever non-mahram visited) when I was about 11, I guess my story won’t be as interesting as those who actually has to find real courage and strength to don the hijab, like this girl. Still, at the end of the day, I guess I worry more about those who are already wearing the hijab but are not showing qualities as Muslim women… (those who wear tudung but don’t mind losing their virginity before marriage, wear tudung but matched with really sexy outfits, wear tudung but indulge in heavy petting at public places – the kind of girls who got written about in Mastika and covered in NTV7’s Edisi Siasat a while back)… The kind which make some people come out with remarks such as “baik tak payah pakai tudung…” I worry about them as I worry about the trials and tribulations the future generation have to face in maintaining their dignity and modesty as practising Malay Muslim women.
# Then, another note by this blogger also actually touched somewhere deep inside since currently hubby is a ‘monthly husband’ and we have been a long-distance couple since our first month of marriage. Come September, when I have to fly to Japan to pursue my masters degree in Waseda and leave both him and baby behind first (for him to finish his course and then to apply for unpaid leave and for baby to get all her required early immunisation shots), it’ll be about five or six months before we’ll get reunited. It’s going to be very difficult being away from both a newborn baby and hubby. But nobody said that it would be easy. Besides, I believe if both of us do what we have to do as in accordance to Allah’s plan for us, then we should not be sad neither should we feel afraid as He promises that He will be with those who are patient…
This old nasyid below by Suara Hati, as I got on e-mail this morning, somehow reminded me that for those who have to be apart from their loved ones for a long time, life could be sweeter when we remind ourselves that it’s all in Allah’s will, not ours.
PERTEMUAN BUKAN MILIK KITA
Pertemuan menghadiahkan kita kasih sayang
Jika cinta satu pasti bertemu ia tidak ternilai
Kerana antara hati kita
Telah tiada antaranya lagi
Yang ada hanya cinta kasih Ilahi
Kita berpisah hanya sementara
Kerana pertemuan bukan milik kita
Jasad dan suara berjauhan sentiasa
Namun cinta abadi
Biar terpisah selalu menderita
Kerana syurga menagih ujian
Sedang neraka dipagari oleh nikmat
Bertemu tidak jemu berpisah tak gelisah
Bicara kita adalah bicara sufi
Tanpa suara dan kata-kata
Kerana penghubung kita adalah suara hati
Bertemu berpisah kerana Allah
Lagu: Suara Hati
Lirik: Pahrol Mohd Juoi
Friday, June 24, 2005
Welcome to the mother's world
Wore the ‘uniform’ for the first time at work today and caught some attention for it. I’m nearing my seventh month and this morning was the first time my colleagues saw me in a maternity dress. It’s a typical dress - ankle length, long sleeved, one piece with some frills above the abdomen area. I must admit that it was quite difficult to find a ready-made dress that suits me since apparently affordable long sleeved, full length maternity dresses that could fit a 5’5” person are not that easily available. I bought two pairs earlier – but I found them to be a bit senteng, so I feel a bit reluctant to wear them to the office.
However, yesterday I was in luck as I found two nice pairs (similar patterns in different colours) that suit me well in Nilai 3. I don’t shop in Nilai 3 all that often, but I was in Bandar Seri Putra so I thought I might as well try looking in the nearby Nilai 3. Actually, right after work yesterday, I went to Bandar Seri Putra to bid my farewell & bon voyage to Masni and her husband Ayie before their departure to UK. Ayie is going to pursue his PhD in Cardiff – Masni’s former university. Masni has been one of my closest buddies since high school and we’ve always kept in touch all these years, so I really did not want to miss saying good bye this time around. I’ve known her whole family too and was pleased to meet them at Masni’s place as well as to sample her mother’s cooking. Since I missed lunch and was really famished by the time I arrived there, I was delighted to be served with all sort of nice food – bihun goreng, rice with assorted lauks, cucur peneram and nice preserved mangoes and buah kuini for dessert. Well, I supposed we all know how pregnant mothers can get excited about all these jeruk stuff, kan?
After bidding proper good bye - hugs, pats on tummy and all - I then moved on to Nilai 3. I went there with my 19-year old cousin Firdhaus, who acted as my consultant, as we went shop-hopping, looking for suitable wear. I liked some of the two-pieces on sale, however since they were mostly pants ( which I could not wear to work) and the skirts were short, I had no choice but to limit my selection on the one-piece long dresses. It was rather frustrating to note that the nicer ones always came in unsuitable designs for me – either they were short or ¾ sleeved or they were knee length. But then again, since I don’t feel like getting my maternity dress tailor-made, I have to settle for what’s available off the rack, so I made my two new purchases albeit accepting that they were a bit short on the back. Bought some loose blouses too, that can be paired with some pants or skirts. At least I can alternate between wearing the dresses and some blouses.
So, I wore my new dress this morning, peach coloured with a matching tudung.
Saliah, my colleague who had been insisting on me wearing the ‘uniform’ seemed really thrilled to finally see me in it and even asked me to parade it in front of her. So did Raihan, another mak buyung who’s in her eight month but had started wearing her ‘uniform’ a couple of months ago. Even my next door neighbour Mohana, who’s still recovering from some fever, could not help herself commenting on how obviously pregnant I look in the ‘uniform’ (all these while, they have been commenting on how small my bump is). Well, who could help but grinning at all those comments, huh?
I guess, putting on the maternity dress for the first time at work could be quite a memorable experience – especially when one receives a comment like I did from Kak Wan, a senior officer, as we passed each other in the pantry this morning;
“Welcome to the mother’s world”
However, yesterday I was in luck as I found two nice pairs (similar patterns in different colours) that suit me well in Nilai 3. I don’t shop in Nilai 3 all that often, but I was in Bandar Seri Putra so I thought I might as well try looking in the nearby Nilai 3. Actually, right after work yesterday, I went to Bandar Seri Putra to bid my farewell & bon voyage to Masni and her husband Ayie before their departure to UK. Ayie is going to pursue his PhD in Cardiff – Masni’s former university. Masni has been one of my closest buddies since high school and we’ve always kept in touch all these years, so I really did not want to miss saying good bye this time around. I’ve known her whole family too and was pleased to meet them at Masni’s place as well as to sample her mother’s cooking. Since I missed lunch and was really famished by the time I arrived there, I was delighted to be served with all sort of nice food – bihun goreng, rice with assorted lauks, cucur peneram and nice preserved mangoes and buah kuini for dessert. Well, I supposed we all know how pregnant mothers can get excited about all these jeruk stuff, kan?
After bidding proper good bye - hugs, pats on tummy and all - I then moved on to Nilai 3. I went there with my 19-year old cousin Firdhaus, who acted as my consultant, as we went shop-hopping, looking for suitable wear. I liked some of the two-pieces on sale, however since they were mostly pants ( which I could not wear to work) and the skirts were short, I had no choice but to limit my selection on the one-piece long dresses. It was rather frustrating to note that the nicer ones always came in unsuitable designs for me – either they were short or ¾ sleeved or they were knee length. But then again, since I don’t feel like getting my maternity dress tailor-made, I have to settle for what’s available off the rack, so I made my two new purchases albeit accepting that they were a bit short on the back. Bought some loose blouses too, that can be paired with some pants or skirts. At least I can alternate between wearing the dresses and some blouses.
So, I wore my new dress this morning, peach coloured with a matching tudung.
Saliah, my colleague who had been insisting on me wearing the ‘uniform’ seemed really thrilled to finally see me in it and even asked me to parade it in front of her. So did Raihan, another mak buyung who’s in her eight month but had started wearing her ‘uniform’ a couple of months ago. Even my next door neighbour Mohana, who’s still recovering from some fever, could not help herself commenting on how obviously pregnant I look in the ‘uniform’ (all these while, they have been commenting on how small my bump is). Well, who could help but grinning at all those comments, huh?
I guess, putting on the maternity dress for the first time at work could be quite a memorable experience – especially when one receives a comment like I did from Kak Wan, a senior officer, as we passed each other in the pantry this morning;
“Welcome to the mother’s world”
Thursday, June 23, 2005
The Johor - Melaka Trip, Part III
The last leg of our trip was kind of lame, but it was basically the only time hubby and I actually spent some time alone. In effect, we went on a long, educational date of some sort and by the end of the day, my feet really hurt from the four-hours non stop walk… We walked all over Melaka City Centre – all around the major historical sites - Stadhuys, St Paul hill, A Famosa, Independence Square, etc.
We toured two museums, even walked to the Maritime museum (well known for the huge old ship structure), but by then I was too tired and pleaded with hubby not to enter it. The Muzium Budaya, located in the replica of the Sultanate Palace (next to A Famosa ruins) is recommended for parents with school-aged children. From what I’d seen, heard and experienced that day – the children there seemed to enjoy getting a glimpse of Melaka during its glorious days as Venice of the East. And to think that the entrance fee is only RM2 per adult! The Islamic Museum, located next to the Museum of Arts and Beauty not far from Dataran Kemerdekaan, still has a lot of room for improvement in terms of content and display. But since we only paid RM1 each for entrance fee, I won’t complain much.
I’ve been told by Abang Azrain that food really doesn’t cost that much in Melaka compared to KL. So, hubby and I decided to have our lunch in Klebang, before we went to Melaka city centre. I must admit that I was pleased to note that our lunch, consisting mee bandung, mee goreng (with fried egg on the side), rojak buah, kopi ginseng, soya bean drinks and two mugs of warm water only cost us RM10.50. The same menu would’ve easily cost us about RM15.00 in KL.
Cheap food - everything on the table only cost us RM10.50
Stopped by at Lendu to visit one of hubby’s many mak angkats. He has a few mak angkat actually – a few I’ve never have any opportunity to meet so far. As a student in Egypt, he used to act as tourist guide during holidays, and in the process got a few nice makcik to care for him and became his mak angkat.
This particular mak angkat of his is one nice lady who, unfortunately, has been left by her husband who marries another younger girl. But she never bitches about it. Photos of her husband still hang proudly in her home – he never divorces her, but simply left without leaving any news of his whereabouts or providing any support. Still, she seems perfectly content to be at home – entertaining herself with raising some deers, some peacocks, taking care of a small fruit orchard and operating a small business selling air mussoffa (holy water of some sort, produced by certain qualified persons writing selected Quranic verses using ink made from saffron around white plates or something to that effect). She always look so calm and at peace with herself that sometimes I could not help thinking what a pity that the husband fails to appreciate such a wonderful gem as this lady.
But then again, sometimes people do take their blessings for granted, right?
We toured two museums, even walked to the Maritime museum (well known for the huge old ship structure), but by then I was too tired and pleaded with hubby not to enter it. The Muzium Budaya, located in the replica of the Sultanate Palace (next to A Famosa ruins) is recommended for parents with school-aged children. From what I’d seen, heard and experienced that day – the children there seemed to enjoy getting a glimpse of Melaka during its glorious days as Venice of the East. And to think that the entrance fee is only RM2 per adult! The Islamic Museum, located next to the Museum of Arts and Beauty not far from Dataran Kemerdekaan, still has a lot of room for improvement in terms of content and display. But since we only paid RM1 each for entrance fee, I won’t complain much.
I’ve been told by Abang Azrain that food really doesn’t cost that much in Melaka compared to KL. So, hubby and I decided to have our lunch in Klebang, before we went to Melaka city centre. I must admit that I was pleased to note that our lunch, consisting mee bandung, mee goreng (with fried egg on the side), rojak buah, kopi ginseng, soya bean drinks and two mugs of warm water only cost us RM10.50. The same menu would’ve easily cost us about RM15.00 in KL.
Cheap food - everything on the table only cost us RM10.50
Stopped by at Lendu to visit one of hubby’s many mak angkats. He has a few mak angkat actually – a few I’ve never have any opportunity to meet so far. As a student in Egypt, he used to act as tourist guide during holidays, and in the process got a few nice makcik to care for him and became his mak angkat.
This particular mak angkat of his is one nice lady who, unfortunately, has been left by her husband who marries another younger girl. But she never bitches about it. Photos of her husband still hang proudly in her home – he never divorces her, but simply left without leaving any news of his whereabouts or providing any support. Still, she seems perfectly content to be at home – entertaining herself with raising some deers, some peacocks, taking care of a small fruit orchard and operating a small business selling air mussoffa (holy water of some sort, produced by certain qualified persons writing selected Quranic verses using ink made from saffron around white plates or something to that effect). She always look so calm and at peace with herself that sometimes I could not help thinking what a pity that the husband fails to appreciate such a wonderful gem as this lady.
But then again, sometimes people do take their blessings for granted, right?
Friday, June 10, 2005
The Johor - Melaka Trip, Part II
Day 2 – Sunday
I really pity my sister-in-law. In her absence, there was one large plastic container filled with unwashed mugs, cups and dirty plates in the kitchen. And I saw a peek of a mountain of yet-to-be folded and pressed laundry in her room. I guess Zsarina can’t be wrong when she imagined that “there'd be millions of Malaysian men (Malay men especially) who would be as helpless as babies (and nowhere as cute) if their housewives suddenly decided to quit taking care of their laundry, food, groceries, household bills and housecleaning”. My brother-in-law is one perfect example of such man.
However, since I could not stand the smell, I did not help out with the dishes except for those newly used ones. And since I didn’t want to intrude her private room, I did not help with the laundry as well. But I tried to keep the house as tidy as possible as we left – with two active kids under 5 years of age, that’s quite a feat. But they say it’s better to have active kids than quiet, inactive ones. “Nakal tandanya cerdik,” or so people claimed.
We were taken to another restaurant in Kota Tinggi for brunch. Hubby had lontong kering once again while I had some too-salty lontong basah. Guess hubby is quite fascinated with lontong kering because they are quite hard to find outside Johor. Abang Nazri suggested trying out the sup tulang – but I had never been keen on soup and hubby thought it’s too early to have soup as he prefers taking soup in the evening or later at night.
Then, hubby and I went on to Ayer Tawar to visit my eldest aunt who’s staying at her eldest daughter’s place. Mak Long used to make really nice tempe, but she had stopped making them ages ago, but still it was nice to be treated to some fried tempe at her place. Or rather, my cousin Kak Jarah’s place. Kak Jarah, or more affectionately known as Abang Aya, is of Mak’s age, but she seems a lot more energetic. She’s really into old-folk care now since she has to take care not only of my Mak Long, but also her husband’s stepmother. Not to mention that she used to take care of her husband’s mother too, until she passed away a couple of years ago.
I really, really respect Abang Aya for I think few women can surpass her strength. Her husband has another younger wife, who could actually be asked to take care of his mother and now, his stepmother. After all, taking care of one’s mother at a later age could be rather taxing. Abang Aya has to deal with Mak Long who could be quite demanding at times. Then, at times, she has to take care of her grandchildren too. Sometimes, Abang Aya even has to babysit her stepchildren when the younger wife was not feeling well and what-nots. Despite the unfair treatment (in my opinion anyway), she gets along well with the younger wife – and oh my, that takes a lot of strength…
Hubby had a one-hour nap while I chatted with Mak Long, Abang Aya and her stepmother-in-law. After solat and lunch, we made our move. Next stop was supposed to be Melaka, my cousin’s place not far from Sungai Udang, but we had some detours first.
First – there was an unscheduled stop in Kulai to meet Lina and Rudy. Lina used to study in Manchester and now a medical doctor working in Hospital Sultanah Aminah in JB. Rudy, her husband, is a Singaporean who used to study in Birmingham. I knew Rudy through Lina, but I am equally fond of both of them. Lina reminds me a lot of myself. So I guess it’s hard not to like Rudy who appreciates her for herself.
We were supposed to meet in Kota Tinggi or JB, but finally decided to meet in Kulai, at Lina’s younger sister’s place. Just nice too, since hubby and I had to pass by Kulai on our way to Melaka anyway (to use the highway). We both missed each other’s wedding, but Lina took Rudy over to my place in PJ not long after her wedding to introduce him to my family (she’s close to my family as well, even calls my father “Ayah” instead of Pakcik or Uncle). She even took Rudy and his family to my in-law’s place not long after my wedding to make up for not attending my kenduri. So, I feel it’s only fair for me and hubby to return her courtesy by visiting her while we were in Johor. I’m glad to note that Rudy and hubby hit it off well too despite meeting for the first time. Upon noticing how deeply in conversation Rudy and hubby were, Lina’s mother asked us when was the last time they met – to which both of us answered simultaneously – that was their first meeting. All is good though – it’s always good to know that one’s spouse is on good term with one’s best friend’s spouse, kan?
Then – there was a detour to Parit Raja, Batu Pahat, to visit hubby’s college friend, Qamarul. Coincidentally Qamarul’s grandpa was not feeling very well, so hubby and I visited the grandpa as well. The old frail man reminded me of my own late Tok Ayah, who passed away when I was sitting for SPM more than ten years ago and I missed being there with him during his last moments on earth. I asked hubby to make du’a for the ailing grandpa and hubby obliged, reciting lots of selawat and du’a as he held the old man’s hand. I made some du’a too, simultaneously making some du’a for my own grandparents.
After treating us to some home-made soup, Qamarul led us back to Ayer Hitam, the famous porcelain and ceramic centre in northern Malaysia. We ended up spending over RM200 on vases (as souvenirs for both Mak and my mother-in-law), artificial flowers, fridge magnets, art stuff and what nots. Since it was already 8.40 p.m. when we arrived, not surprisingly, hubby and I were among the last to exit the shop when it closed at 10.00 p.m.
There were lots of accessories for traditional Malay wedding on sale too. We managed to tease Qamarul about how convenient it will be for him when the time arrives for him to settle down since he can go to a relatively cheap one-stop centre to get most of the things needed for a wedding. Qamarul explained that he hasn’t found a suitable candidate for a wife yet, and hubby said that maybe I could help him there. But then again, I pointed out that he’s only 24 where else my single friends are mostly above 25 years old. He immediately replied that age is not a hindrance, after all Rasulullah wedded Siti Khadijah who was more than a decade older than him – it’s the akhlaq that counts most. I was rather amazed by his quick quip and could not help thinking that the woman who finally marries this guy is one really lucky lass.
I really pity my sister-in-law. In her absence, there was one large plastic container filled with unwashed mugs, cups and dirty plates in the kitchen. And I saw a peek of a mountain of yet-to-be folded and pressed laundry in her room. I guess Zsarina can’t be wrong when she imagined that “there'd be millions of Malaysian men (Malay men especially) who would be as helpless as babies (and nowhere as cute) if their housewives suddenly decided to quit taking care of their laundry, food, groceries, household bills and housecleaning”. My brother-in-law is one perfect example of such man.
However, since I could not stand the smell, I did not help out with the dishes except for those newly used ones. And since I didn’t want to intrude her private room, I did not help with the laundry as well. But I tried to keep the house as tidy as possible as we left – with two active kids under 5 years of age, that’s quite a feat. But they say it’s better to have active kids than quiet, inactive ones. “Nakal tandanya cerdik,” or so people claimed.
We were taken to another restaurant in Kota Tinggi for brunch. Hubby had lontong kering once again while I had some too-salty lontong basah. Guess hubby is quite fascinated with lontong kering because they are quite hard to find outside Johor. Abang Nazri suggested trying out the sup tulang – but I had never been keen on soup and hubby thought it’s too early to have soup as he prefers taking soup in the evening or later at night.
Then, hubby and I went on to Ayer Tawar to visit my eldest aunt who’s staying at her eldest daughter’s place. Mak Long used to make really nice tempe, but she had stopped making them ages ago, but still it was nice to be treated to some fried tempe at her place. Or rather, my cousin Kak Jarah’s place. Kak Jarah, or more affectionately known as Abang Aya, is of Mak’s age, but she seems a lot more energetic. She’s really into old-folk care now since she has to take care not only of my Mak Long, but also her husband’s stepmother. Not to mention that she used to take care of her husband’s mother too, until she passed away a couple of years ago.
I really, really respect Abang Aya for I think few women can surpass her strength. Her husband has another younger wife, who could actually be asked to take care of his mother and now, his stepmother. After all, taking care of one’s mother at a later age could be rather taxing. Abang Aya has to deal with Mak Long who could be quite demanding at times. Then, at times, she has to take care of her grandchildren too. Sometimes, Abang Aya even has to babysit her stepchildren when the younger wife was not feeling well and what-nots. Despite the unfair treatment (in my opinion anyway), she gets along well with the younger wife – and oh my, that takes a lot of strength…
Hubby had a one-hour nap while I chatted with Mak Long, Abang Aya and her stepmother-in-law. After solat and lunch, we made our move. Next stop was supposed to be Melaka, my cousin’s place not far from Sungai Udang, but we had some detours first.
First – there was an unscheduled stop in Kulai to meet Lina and Rudy. Lina used to study in Manchester and now a medical doctor working in Hospital Sultanah Aminah in JB. Rudy, her husband, is a Singaporean who used to study in Birmingham. I knew Rudy through Lina, but I am equally fond of both of them. Lina reminds me a lot of myself. So I guess it’s hard not to like Rudy who appreciates her for herself.
We were supposed to meet in Kota Tinggi or JB, but finally decided to meet in Kulai, at Lina’s younger sister’s place. Just nice too, since hubby and I had to pass by Kulai on our way to Melaka anyway (to use the highway). We both missed each other’s wedding, but Lina took Rudy over to my place in PJ not long after her wedding to introduce him to my family (she’s close to my family as well, even calls my father “Ayah” instead of Pakcik or Uncle). She even took Rudy and his family to my in-law’s place not long after my wedding to make up for not attending my kenduri. So, I feel it’s only fair for me and hubby to return her courtesy by visiting her while we were in Johor. I’m glad to note that Rudy and hubby hit it off well too despite meeting for the first time. Upon noticing how deeply in conversation Rudy and hubby were, Lina’s mother asked us when was the last time they met – to which both of us answered simultaneously – that was their first meeting. All is good though – it’s always good to know that one’s spouse is on good term with one’s best friend’s spouse, kan?
Then – there was a detour to Parit Raja, Batu Pahat, to visit hubby’s college friend, Qamarul. Coincidentally Qamarul’s grandpa was not feeling very well, so hubby and I visited the grandpa as well. The old frail man reminded me of my own late Tok Ayah, who passed away when I was sitting for SPM more than ten years ago and I missed being there with him during his last moments on earth. I asked hubby to make du’a for the ailing grandpa and hubby obliged, reciting lots of selawat and du’a as he held the old man’s hand. I made some du’a too, simultaneously making some du’a for my own grandparents.
After treating us to some home-made soup, Qamarul led us back to Ayer Hitam, the famous porcelain and ceramic centre in northern Malaysia. We ended up spending over RM200 on vases (as souvenirs for both Mak and my mother-in-law), artificial flowers, fridge magnets, art stuff and what nots. Since it was already 8.40 p.m. when we arrived, not surprisingly, hubby and I were among the last to exit the shop when it closed at 10.00 p.m.
There were lots of accessories for traditional Malay wedding on sale too. We managed to tease Qamarul about how convenient it will be for him when the time arrives for him to settle down since he can go to a relatively cheap one-stop centre to get most of the things needed for a wedding. Qamarul explained that he hasn’t found a suitable candidate for a wife yet, and hubby said that maybe I could help him there. But then again, I pointed out that he’s only 24 where else my single friends are mostly above 25 years old. He immediately replied that age is not a hindrance, after all Rasulullah wedded Siti Khadijah who was more than a decade older than him – it’s the akhlaq that counts most. I was rather amazed by his quick quip and could not help thinking that the woman who finally marries this guy is one really lucky lass.
The Johor - Melaka Trip, Part I
After six months of marriage, we finally found some time to visit Mak’s relatives in Johor. Right after our wedding, I took a week off for bertandang – visiting relatives and close family friends around Negeri Sembilan, Klang Valley, Kedah and Penang. We planned on visiting relatives in Johor a few months after the wedding, but a month after our wedding, hubby had to go to Terengganu for his one-year course and could only return during school breaks. Yes, he came back during school break in March, but at that time I had not recovered well from my hyperemesis gravidarum yet. So – this school holiday, we made it a point to reserve a few days out for the Johor trip.
So, last Friday, after finished praying Isyak, I called Mak Ram’s house (Mak’s elder sister) in Pontian, to remind her of our arrival. To my surprise, the call was answered by Abang Azmin, a cousin who now resides in Labuan and was unable to attend my kenduri. When I told him that hubby & I were going over to Pontian, it was his turn to be taken by surprise. He didn’t quite believed me at first, but I told him, now that he’s around, I must visit Pontian to save me a trip to Labuan to introduce hubby to him & his family.
Turned out that all four of Mak Ram’s sons returned to Pontian that day, it was almost like Hari Raya. I guess, once the five-days week for government servants are implemented, there’ll be more family reunions held over the weekend rather than waiting for Hari Raya to gather everybody together. Still, despite having all her sons and family under one roof, Mak Ram still insisted on hubby and I having the privilege of resting in the guestroom-connected-to-a-bathroom. Her grandchildren mostly occupied the family hall for the night.
Among Mak’s many sisters, I feel closest to Mak Ram and Mak Su. I feel most accepted by them, like I am truly their niece, rather than their sister’s stepdaughter. Mak Ram and Mak Su helped out a lot during the wedding – Mak Su sponsored lots of goodies as part of the ‘berkat bag’ while Mak Ram loaned some of the stuff used for the pelamin since the theme colour for my cousin Azman’s wedding in 2003 was similar to mine. Mak Su even took the initiative to decorate the baskets used for distributing bunga telur long before I started any decorating on my part.
Even when I was still a child, Mak Su and Mak Ram pampered my brothers and I more than Mak’s other siblings. Maybe partly because it is in their nature as teachers to be more gentle and understanding towards kids from broken house. Maybe because we were just at the right age when we were first introduced – Adik was a toddler who could have been Mak Su’s student while Abang and I were still in primary school and could have been Mak Ram’s students. Maybe because Mak has always been closer to them and that closeness was extended to us as well.
So, it’s small wonder that I chose to visit Mak Ram’s house first in my series of relatives-visiting around Johor. Besides, Mak Ram still lives at the same lane where my late Mak Tua used to live and where Mak was raised up.
Day 1 – Saturday
Woke up to a wonderful breakfast. Everybody was too tired to cook, so Abang Azrain, the eldest cousin decided on getting instant breakfast – bought them. Fortunately, the district hospital in Pontian offers one of the best traditional Malay breakfast delicacies. There were nasi lemak, fried beehoon, assorted kuih as well as lontong kering. Hubby tried out lontong kering for the first time ever, and was treated to lontong everyday for the next two days.
With exception of Abang Azmin, the son from Labuan who had to go and visit his in-laws in Batu Pahat- Mak Ram and the rest of the gang had been invited to a wedding in Kulai. So as they left home, hubby and I made our way to Mak Su’s house, which is less than five minutes away from Mak Ram’s place – on foot.
Coincidentally Mak Su just returned from a tour around Egypt. So hubby and her had a lot to talk about – mostly swapping stories and views on tourist havens in Egypt. Since I’ve never set my foot in Egypt before, I was pretty content to just listen to them chatting. Good to know that Mak Su enjoyed her trip very much. If you ask me, I think my retired aunt has gone to more places that I’ve ever been to, and she even plans to visit Japan since I am going to stay there for a while beginning end of this year, insya Allah. By the way, together with my cousin Azman, we acted as tourist guides when Mak Ram, Mak Su and Abang Azmin went to UK while Azman and I were still studying there. I guess it’ll be fun to host and act as a tourist guide for my inquisitive aunties in Japan.
After a while, hubby and I took our leave and moved on to JB. At first I was thinking of visiting Kota Tinggi first, since two of my aunts reside there. Turned out that one aunt had gone to Melaka to send her eldest granddaughter for registration at Multimedia University. So, had a quick change of plan and went to JB first instead.
Visited a cousin’s place in Kampung Melayu Majidee. Hubby had his first taste of the famous Murtabak Singapore. We were told that people from all over JB don’t mind queuing up for this delicious murtabak during Ramadhan. My cousins in Shah Alam also always pack some murtabak to-go everytime they finished visiting their siblings in JB. There are actually three cousins living in JB , but a couple is away to perform umrah in Makkah while another cousin and her family went visiting her sisters in Shah Alam.
Next destination – Kota Tinggi. We decided to crash at my sister-in-law’s place first and to visit Mak Long, Mak’s eldest sister in Ayer Tawar a little later. But by then, both hubby and I were so tired that we finally made up our mind to postpone the trip to Ayer Tawar to the next day. My sister-in-law, Kak Telaah was not around since she had to attend a nine-day course in Kota Bharu, Kelantan.
Abang Nazri, her husband took their two kids and us out to a nice Chinese Muslim restaurant, Restoran Hassan Ong, for dinner. As we enjoyed the siakap tiga rasa and some Japanese tofu, Abang Nazri told us how once Kak Telaah suddenly craved for siakap tiga rasa while she was pregnant with their eldest daughter. So, Abang Nazri had to go to the nearest sea food restaurant which was about a half hour away by motorbike, bought two pieces of siakap and returned home. By then, it was already past midnight and just like her sudden craving, my sister-in-law suddenly lost her appetite for the siakap. Which really frustrated her husband then – but he understands now that one can’t blame the wife when that happened. Some things are just beyond pregnant women’s control…
So, last Friday, after finished praying Isyak, I called Mak Ram’s house (Mak’s elder sister) in Pontian, to remind her of our arrival. To my surprise, the call was answered by Abang Azmin, a cousin who now resides in Labuan and was unable to attend my kenduri. When I told him that hubby & I were going over to Pontian, it was his turn to be taken by surprise. He didn’t quite believed me at first, but I told him, now that he’s around, I must visit Pontian to save me a trip to Labuan to introduce hubby to him & his family.
Turned out that all four of Mak Ram’s sons returned to Pontian that day, it was almost like Hari Raya. I guess, once the five-days week for government servants are implemented, there’ll be more family reunions held over the weekend rather than waiting for Hari Raya to gather everybody together. Still, despite having all her sons and family under one roof, Mak Ram still insisted on hubby and I having the privilege of resting in the guestroom-connected-to-a-bathroom. Her grandchildren mostly occupied the family hall for the night.
Among Mak’s many sisters, I feel closest to Mak Ram and Mak Su. I feel most accepted by them, like I am truly their niece, rather than their sister’s stepdaughter. Mak Ram and Mak Su helped out a lot during the wedding – Mak Su sponsored lots of goodies as part of the ‘berkat bag’ while Mak Ram loaned some of the stuff used for the pelamin since the theme colour for my cousin Azman’s wedding in 2003 was similar to mine. Mak Su even took the initiative to decorate the baskets used for distributing bunga telur long before I started any decorating on my part.
Even when I was still a child, Mak Su and Mak Ram pampered my brothers and I more than Mak’s other siblings. Maybe partly because it is in their nature as teachers to be more gentle and understanding towards kids from broken house. Maybe because we were just at the right age when we were first introduced – Adik was a toddler who could have been Mak Su’s student while Abang and I were still in primary school and could have been Mak Ram’s students. Maybe because Mak has always been closer to them and that closeness was extended to us as well.
So, it’s small wonder that I chose to visit Mak Ram’s house first in my series of relatives-visiting around Johor. Besides, Mak Ram still lives at the same lane where my late Mak Tua used to live and where Mak was raised up.
Day 1 – Saturday
Woke up to a wonderful breakfast. Everybody was too tired to cook, so Abang Azrain, the eldest cousin decided on getting instant breakfast – bought them. Fortunately, the district hospital in Pontian offers one of the best traditional Malay breakfast delicacies. There were nasi lemak, fried beehoon, assorted kuih as well as lontong kering. Hubby tried out lontong kering for the first time ever, and was treated to lontong everyday for the next two days.
With exception of Abang Azmin, the son from Labuan who had to go and visit his in-laws in Batu Pahat- Mak Ram and the rest of the gang had been invited to a wedding in Kulai. So as they left home, hubby and I made our way to Mak Su’s house, which is less than five minutes away from Mak Ram’s place – on foot.
Coincidentally Mak Su just returned from a tour around Egypt. So hubby and her had a lot to talk about – mostly swapping stories and views on tourist havens in Egypt. Since I’ve never set my foot in Egypt before, I was pretty content to just listen to them chatting. Good to know that Mak Su enjoyed her trip very much. If you ask me, I think my retired aunt has gone to more places that I’ve ever been to, and she even plans to visit Japan since I am going to stay there for a while beginning end of this year, insya Allah. By the way, together with my cousin Azman, we acted as tourist guides when Mak Ram, Mak Su and Abang Azmin went to UK while Azman and I were still studying there. I guess it’ll be fun to host and act as a tourist guide for my inquisitive aunties in Japan.
After a while, hubby and I took our leave and moved on to JB. At first I was thinking of visiting Kota Tinggi first, since two of my aunts reside there. Turned out that one aunt had gone to Melaka to send her eldest granddaughter for registration at Multimedia University. So, had a quick change of plan and went to JB first instead.
Visited a cousin’s place in Kampung Melayu Majidee. Hubby had his first taste of the famous Murtabak Singapore. We were told that people from all over JB don’t mind queuing up for this delicious murtabak during Ramadhan. My cousins in Shah Alam also always pack some murtabak to-go everytime they finished visiting their siblings in JB. There are actually three cousins living in JB , but a couple is away to perform umrah in Makkah while another cousin and her family went visiting her sisters in Shah Alam.
Next destination – Kota Tinggi. We decided to crash at my sister-in-law’s place first and to visit Mak Long, Mak’s eldest sister in Ayer Tawar a little later. But by then, both hubby and I were so tired that we finally made up our mind to postpone the trip to Ayer Tawar to the next day. My sister-in-law, Kak Telaah was not around since she had to attend a nine-day course in Kota Bharu, Kelantan.
Abang Nazri, her husband took their two kids and us out to a nice Chinese Muslim restaurant, Restoran Hassan Ong, for dinner. As we enjoyed the siakap tiga rasa and some Japanese tofu, Abang Nazri told us how once Kak Telaah suddenly craved for siakap tiga rasa while she was pregnant with their eldest daughter. So, Abang Nazri had to go to the nearest sea food restaurant which was about a half hour away by motorbike, bought two pieces of siakap and returned home. By then, it was already past midnight and just like her sudden craving, my sister-in-law suddenly lost her appetite for the siakap. Which really frustrated her husband then – but he understands now that one can’t blame the wife when that happened. Some things are just beyond pregnant women’s control…
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